Off the Map: San Diego's Most Disjointed Dining Establishment

Oxtail Gnocchi - Herb & Wood, San Diego, CA

Herb & Wood

San Diego, you are not off to a fortuitous start.

First of All, the Level of SUN in This Place

After two and a half years of varying degrees of quarantine (a great deal of it self-imposed - an introvert needs some alone time), Vodka is finally back out on the road with her friend, Vesper (who names herself after a cocktail for which she is incapable of listing any details or ingredients, other than "they drink them in James Bond movies").

No Photos of a Vesper Exist Since "Vesper" Never Actually Ordered One

Vodka's inaugural plane trip takes her to San Diego for, what else, a Bernadette Peters concert. But just about the only other thing populating her and Vesper's color-coded itinerary is a litany of dining establishments.

Vodka Only Leaves Her House to Eat, Drink, or Attend Bernadette Peters Concerts

Immediately after disembarking their plane, they head to Puesto for tacos and margaritas (which were good) followed by Brigantine Seafood and Oyster Bar for bay views and oysters (which were less good, considering Oyster #1 nearly took out Vesper in the first hour of our trip, and the whole plate was subsequently refunded).

By the Grace of the Travel Gods, Vesper Somehow Did Not Spend Her Whole Trip Here

For "dinner" (if such a "continuum of eating" can have actual meals attached) that night, Vodka and Vesper head to Herb & Wood in the city's Little Italy neighborhood, home of Beau MacMillan's favorite oxtail gnocchi from the SPECIAL OCCASION episode of Best Thing I Ever Ate.

How Many Bars Can One Saddle Up to in One Weekend?

Right off the bat, Herb & Wood is... a lot. The decor is eclectic at best and downright dichotomous at worst (the first room, where the (beautiful) bar is located, is a club scene; our dining room is a library).

And This Fellow Is Hanging Out at the Front Door

Also, despite the fact that we've been in San Diego all of a single afternoon, we have found the residents exceedingly nice so far. Friendly without trying too hard, pleasant without being annoying. Our waiter is none of these things.

And Based on Our Early Bird Dining Hour, It's Not Like He's Busy....

Chillier then our chosen bottle of Sancerre, he is far from welcoming or attentive, and it is our most disappointing service experience in San Diego by far.

We Would Have Found This Room Charming If the People Working in It Were the Same

As far as the food, the tuna tartare, which we share as an appetizer, is varying degrees of "fine." 

Here's a Picture of the Menu in Lieu of Actual Notes

Vesper enjoys it more than Vodka, as Vodka finds the texture of the fish itself off-putting.

Instead of "Chopped"...

...It Seemed More "Hacked"

The chosen dish of oxtail gnocchi sounds delicious in theory, but it comes with precisely ten pieces of pasta and a smattering of meat, none of which has a great deal of flavor. 

A Preschooler Could Use This Serving to Practice Counting to T10

The plate is served looking like the "after" portion of a meal, i.e. what we should be bringing home for leftovers - not as the main event.

The Greens Aren't Doing Much to Spruce Things Up Here

Finally, the hanger steak is the most egregious of all - we had ordered it medium rare, and it arrived not only "rare" but practically "still breathing." When we pointed this out to our ever-so-charming (...) waiter, he took it away without comment. It was returned to us a few minutes later after being "heated up"... in the microwave?!

This Dish Was, in a Word, a Disaster

Whatever they did to the meat did not improve it, as it was now not only chewy, but unevenly cooked. In contrast, the best part of the meal was the side of broccolini, most likely because it came smothered in a generous helping of cheese.

Perhaps This Helping of Cheese Is Where the Entire Gnocchi Budget Went

Frenetic with a side of attitude, despite its Food Network- and Top Chef-adjacent fame, and its starred Fodor's review, Herb & Wood in the end turned out to be much like its moniker: two disparate items which sound interesting together in theory, but in reality turn out to be a little more than a confusing mess.

Herb & Wood's Oxtail Gnocchi: 2 stars