Off the Map: You Gotta Get a (Different) Gimmick

Gnocchi Bread Bowl - DiAnoia's Eatery, Pittsburgh, PA

DiAnoia's Eatery

We want to love the gnocchi bread bowl. We really do. After all, it has seemingly every food item one could possibly want wrapped up in a single entree: pasta, cheese, vodka sauce, bread. And all of it - every last bite, including the actual receptacle in which it arrived - is edible.

Bring Us All Your Carbs

It's just, we don't actually love it.

To Be Honest, We're Not Even Sure We Like It

In the defense of DiAnoia's Eatery, Vodka and her college roommates, Diet Coke and Whiskey Sour, arrived at the restaurant none too hungry, after many happy hours in the lobby of the Omni William Penn. As we played a tournament's worth of rummy games, we consumed not only the world's most gigantic (and delicious) soft pretzel, but also a heaping platter of cheese curds.

A Reasonable Appetizer

Now, NOT in DiAnoia Eatery's defense, we felt compelled to engorge ourselves so excessively because we couldn't get a reservation with them until 9:00pm.

Which Is Approximately Four Hours Past Our Desired Dinner Time

All to say, when we finally stumble into the place, we are not exactly ravenous, but we are still quite eager to try the gnocchi bread bowl, as featured by Courtney Rada on the UPPER CRUST episode of Best Thing I Ever Ate. 

Hey, DiAnoia's, How About Throwing in a Bottle While We Wait for Our Midnight Reservation?

Along with the featured bowl, we order the house salad, three meatballs, the al limone pasta, and for dessert, the zeppole.

So Obviously, We Weren't THAT Full

The first thing to note about the bread bowl is it is enormous. Nine-ish inches in diameter, it is filled to the top (and spilling over) with gigantic gnocchi and a heaping of vodka sauce. The gnocchi themselves are well-cooked - not mushy at all, which is a fate that tends to befall this variety of pasta. 

Vodka Generally Prefers a Long Pasta, Though She Did Not Enjoy DiAnoia's Al Limone

The sauce, too, is good, if nothing hugely memorable. But the dish itself just never quite comes across as anything more than a big gimmick.

What Utensil Would YOU Use to Conquer This Item?

While the idea of having bread itself as the vehicle for a pasta dish seems ingenious, because one is unable to actually taste the bread before a solid portion of the pasta is gone, it renders the whole thing a bit useless. Additionally, the bread itself is rather lacking in flavor, like the world's most bland pizza crust.

A Rave Review, This Decidedly Is Not

After we only manage to polish off about a quarter of the contents, we heave the rest of the bread bowl into a plastic to-go container and share it the following day, straight out of our hotel refrigerator. Even with the benefit of having hardened into a more consumable form, the dish just doesn't taste like much, and Whiskey Sour winds up courting the remaining third back home with her.

And If You're STILL Not Good After Congealing for a Day, Is There Really Any Hope?

From the rest of the meal, the donut dessert is a highlight, though frankly, nothing presented at DiAnoia's Eatery comes close to the perfection that was our giant pretzel. 

Might These Also Come with a Side of Yellow Mustard?

And this only proves that, in PIitsburgh and beyond, sometimes gimmick dishes work out for the best, but more often then not, without any substance behind them, they'll simply never make you a star.

DiAnoia's Eatery's Gnocchi Bread Bowl: 3 stars

Off the Map: In Pittsburgh, No Plates Means No Problems (and Plenty of Soap)

Cap & Egg - Primanti Bros., Pittsburgh, PA

Primanti Bros.

The first majestic thing to take place during Vodka's inaugural trip to Pittsburgh, PA, is she gets carded. 

For This Fact Alone, Vodka May Have Found Her New Favorite City

As she's now pretty much double the age when an ID consultation would be understandable, she is beyond thrilled that her Moscow Mule order resulted in a study of her birth year. 

Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall, Who's the Drunkest of Them All?

Equally thrilling is that she is finally about to consume that legend of a Western Pennsylvania entree, a Primanti Bros. sandwich.

Hello, Gorgeous

The entirety of Vodka's knowledge of Primanti Bros. comes from the fact that they stuff their French fries directly onto the sandwiches themselves, a practice for which she and her two college roommates, Whiskey Sour and Diet Coke, are equally excited. 

And Yet Somehow Still Tempted to Ask for a Side of French Fries

According to Best Thing I Ever Ate, Vodka must order the Cap & Egg, as recommended by Rachael Ray on the UNBEATABLE BREAKFAST episode. Whiskey Sour and Diet Coke both choose the Pitts-Burger, which is heavily advertised as the "#2 Best Seller" all over the establishment... with no mention of which delicacy owns the top spot.

And For This Evening's First Riddle....

It takes an exceptionally long time for the sandwiches to make their appearance, but this delay leaves ample opportunity for us to each visit the Primanti Bros. restroom, featuring a soap dispenser with a mind of its own. Squeezing out five squirts of turquoise soap per every hand swipe, the staff has seemingly "solved" this problem by installing a tub beneath the machine to catch the extra barrel of anti-bacterial goo.

Well, That's One Solution

The preponderance of soap means that our hands are extra clean by the time our sandwiches actually arrive -- good fortune, as they do so without a plate. Wrapped up in their own cocoons of parchment paper, they're gifted before us like a stork bestowing a newborn. 

A Heaven-Sent Bundle

The sandwiches themselves are enormous but not unwieldy - even Diet Coke, who has the smallest mouth and smallest appetite among us, can both eat it easily and (nearly) completely.

A Few Stray French Fries Escaping the Herd

The Cap and Egg makes for a very satisfying combination, though not one that Vodka would necessarily have chosen. The whole enterprise seems to be lacking a touch a seasoning and would do well with a condiment or two (though then again, Vodka has rarely met an entree that she didn't think needed salt).

A Side of Mayonnaise Also Would Not Be Entirely Out of Place

Whiskey Sour and Diet Coke similarly enjoy their Pitts-Burgers, but would also try a different sandwich during a return visit (Vodka is most intrigued by the kielbasi variety).

An Additional Menu Tip from the Other Side of the State: Pork Roll

The thick white bread used for all of Primanti Bros.'s creations molds perfectly around the contents, keeping everything in place and making for a relatively mess-free eating adventure. 

A Pittsburgh Burrito

Though even if it didn't, there's plenty of soap available with which to wash off afterwards.

Primanti Bros.'s Cap & Egg: 4 stars

The 200th Post Round-Up: Vodka and Ginger's Favorite Cocktails

Well, here it is.  Forging through bouts of indigestion, tipsy stumbling, and frequently-lost-forays to other states (up to and including a couple of boroughs), we have reached our 200th post.  Rather than putting together another list of our Best of Best Thing I Ever Ate dishes, as we did to mark our 100th post anniversary, we have instead decided to concentrate on the important things: the cocktails we drank alongside our Best Thing I Ever Ate dishes.  Which ones did we love the most?  From what we can remember (ahem), here they are:

1. Buena Vista Cafe -- Irish Coffee

The Best Part of Waking Up

We love an excuse to drink whiskey at 9:00 in the morning -- don't you?  Only trouble is, we have to haul ourselves all the way to San Francisco in order to do so.

2. The Modern -- Kina and The Heights

Our Favorite Kind of Modern Art

In what will become a running pattern, we tend to enjoy our own beverages and not the other one's.  But we loved our respective gin cocktails at The Modern so much that they now enjoy equally high placement on our list.

3. Barrio Chino -- Grapefruit Margarita

The Lower East Side's Greatest Invention

We are notoriously hard on the Lower East Side, but Barrio Chino's grapefruit margarita is one thing that had us singing the neighborhood's praises.

4. Employees Only -- The Vesper and Ginger Smash

Mood Lighting Courtesy of Bar's "Secret" Ambiance

We're not fond of speakeasy-type locales (we have no shame drinking our booze out in the open), but even we have to admit that Employees Only serves up a rather delicious cocktail.

5. Wassail -- City Tavern

Ben Franklin Would Be So Proud

Undisputed proof that we were meant to live in the 1700s: our deep and undying love of heated wine.  Thanks, Philadelphia.

6. Dandelion -- Tartanka and Pimm's Deluxe

The Brits Do Booze Right

We Do Love a Decorative Garnish

In contradictory news, besides being members of the Continental Congress, we also apparently should have been born British, as we love an English pub.  Once again, these drinks are highly worth the train ride to Philly.

7. Clover Club -- Gin Blossom

We Like Any Drink That Comes with Free Refills

Early on, it was not easy to get us to Brooklyn (and to get us around once we were there), but if we are promised gin at the end of our venture, we'll make the trek over the East River.

8. Stanton Social Club -- Martinis

The Drink That Launched 200 Blog Posts

Admittedly, we have no memory of what we drank here, and our usually thorough blog notes fail to provide any insight.  But these cocktails gave birth to our catchphrase, "It's Not Even Noon Somewhere," so they must have been doing something right.

9. Caffe Dante -- Americano and Cappuccino with Kahlua

Starbucks Could Learn a Thing or Two

The cannolis in this place were not great, and their cappuccinos and americanos probably weren't much to write home about either.  But add a burst of kahlua to anything?  Instant improvement.

10. Hill Country Chicken -- Bandit Boxed Wine

High Class on a Tray

It's wine.  It's in a box.  It's hilarious.  And it is the best way, as we see fit, to cap off our Top 10 drinks.

Happy 200th post to us.  May many a calorie and many a cocktail lie ahead.

Yours in Best Thing I Ever Eating,
Vodka and Ginger

The 100th Post Medal Podium: The Very Best Things We Have Eaten (So Far)

In honor of our 100th post, we have each decided to compile a list of our favorite dishes consumed so far -- our Best Of the Best Thing I Ever Ate, so to speak.  These are the places that we tend to recommend the most and would be especially likely to return to on our own accord.  And so, in a burst of Olympic fanfare, we present the It's Not Even Noon Somewhere 100th Post Gold Medal Champions:

Best Things Vodka Ever Ate:
1. Pasta Tasting Menu -- Vetri

Toto, I Don't Think We're in Olive Garden Anymore

One word: pasta.  Vetri is all about the pasta, which just so happens to be Vodka's favorite food on the planet.  And no one -- NO ONE -- does pasta better than the staff at Vetri.  So save up your pennies, make your way to Philadelphia, and drown yourself in Vetri's delectability.

2. Spaghetti -- Scarpetta

Don't Let Your Cat Mistake This For Yarn

Since there is not yet a Vetri outpost in New York, Vodka heads to Scarpetta whenever she needs an upscale pasta fix.  While the Best Thing I Ever Ate dish is the spaghetti, all other pasta dishes which Vodka has tasted here (particularly any of the truffle specials) have been mouth-watering feats of culinary glory.  And if all of that persuasion is not enough, Scarpetta's bread basket is the best in the city (it has stromboli in it, for goodness sake!).

3. Mama Els' Recipe Fried Chicken -- Hill Country Chicken

Everyone Knows the Best Fried Chicken Comes From... Manhattan?

When Vodka decides to eat something other than carbs, she heads to Hill Country Chicken for some of Mama Els' Recipe fried chicken (though let's be real - Hill Country's carbs are pretty great, too, particularly their mac and cheese).  Go for the chicken, stay for the pie.  PS Vodka loves any place that serves boxed wine.

4. Cookies -- Levain

The Only Hiking Vodka Wants to Do Is Up This Cookie Mountain

When the Best Thing I Ever Ate tour was still a mere figment of our overeating imaginations, Vodka fell in love with Levain Bakery and their one-pound cookies.  While the dark chocolate variety was the one featured on Best Thing I Ever Ate, Vodka prefers the chocolate chip walnut or the peanut butter chocolate versions, though, in truth, you cannot go wrong with any flavor.  In fact, you cannot go wrong with a single baked good served at Levain (and rest assured that Vodka has made it her mission to try them all).

5. Toasted Ricotta Gnocchi -- Jane

Paula Deen Said It Best: Add Butter to Everything

Clearly, Vodka has a soft-spot for pasta, and Jane's ricotta gnocchi is second to none.  Starchy and smothered in cream, they are a guilty pleasure waiting to happen.  If they were served at a time other than lunch, Vodka might even be found in one of Jane's booths every week.

Best Things Ginger Ever Ate:
1. Cyprus Breakfast -- Kanella

Smorgasbord of Salt

Kanella's cyprus breakfast eliminated Ginger's eternal debate between sweet or salty morning meals.  While consuming Kanella's sodium-laden platter, nary a vision of sugary baked goods danced in her head.  The cyprus breakfast accomplishes perfection without a drop of chocolate or maple syrup, which is fantastic news... if you live in Philadelphia.

2. Spaghetti -- Scarpetta

It Bears Repeating: STROMBOLI in the BREAD BASKET

Truth be told, Ginger's love affair with Scarpetta is not even about the Best Thing I Ever Ate spaghetti; it is about the bread basket that precedes the spaghetti.  The pasta dishes are only a delicious method by which to obtain the most fantastic bread selection in the whole city.

3. Spaghetti and Meatballs -- Extra Virgin

Spaghetti with a Side of Bowling Ball

Unfortunately for Scarpetta, if Ginger were looking to eat spaghetti on a brisk fall afternoon, she would bundle up and request a prime people-watching seat on the patio of Extra Virgin in the West Village.  This spaghetti is tasty on its own, but the meatballs elevate it beyond the plain and simple.  And luckily, there is plenty left over to bring home for a crave-worthy snack later in the night.  Fortunately for Scarpetta, Extra Virgin only serves this dish on Sunday, so Ginger's loyalties are not too divided.

4. Popovers -- BLT Steak

Snap, Crackle, Popover

It has come to Ginger's attention that sometimes, the "free" bread is the best thing about a place. Case-in-point: BLT Steak's popovers.  If it weren't for our detailed blog, Ginger wouldn't even be able to remember what else we ate at BLT Steak (though she would imagine it involved steak).  These warm, airy popovers could only be improved by one thing: a fresh ginger cocktail.

5. Toasted Marshmallow Milkshake -- Stand

Ginger Likes Her Campfires in a Glass

One time after our initial excursion, Ginger went back to Stand and ordered a different milkshake; it was a terrible mistake.  After drinking the toasted marshmallow milkshake, no other kind ever compares.  And after consuming one shake, all you want is another.  In all fairness, Micheal Symon did warn us.

Best Cocktail:
Vodka's:
Grapefruit Margarita -- Barrio Chino

Part of a Balanced Breakfast

Suffice it to say that this margarita made Vodka a fan of grapefruit itself, not to mention able to bear the burden of cardboard menus and rowdy brunch-time hipsters.

Ginger's:
Grapefruit Margarita -- Barrio Chino

The Grapefruit Margarita is Worth the Shoddiness of This Menu

Barrio Chino has elevated the margarita far beyond the realm of Jimmy Buffet's imagination into a delicious, tangy concoction perfect for brunch.  It is just a matter of time (and stomach space) before we return to the place, and this time, Ginger will forgo the ginger mojito in favor of this perfect pink drink.

(Clearly, the sole reason we're friends is our identical preference for this cocktail).

Best Dessert:
Vodka's:
Rice Pudding -- Rice to Riches

The Alien-Invasion Photography Does Not Do Justice to This Pudding's Perfection

Based on her physique, one would not assume that Kelly Ripa knows good food, but she advocated Rice to Riches's plethora of rice pudding flavors long before Lisa Lillien did, and Vodka has been a loyal fan of the place ever since.  Tip: skip the toppings and stick to the pure perfection of the rice pudding itself.

Ginger's:
Dark Chocolate Chip Cookies – Levain Bakery

Brownie Flavor in Cookie Form

These cookies would feed several small children for weeks.  The outside is crisp, but the inside is rich and creamy, like raw cookie dough.  Ginger once tried to find the recipe online and to bake these sinfully good cookies herself, but somehow, the vast gooey interior remains a home baker's pipe dream.

Best Appetizer:
Vodka's:
Pickles -- McClure's Pickles

Life Is Just a Bowl of Pickles

Not only are pickles an ideal prelude to any meal, but Vodka enjoys any food that is a Bring Your Own Atmosphere choice.  While the first half of McClure's salty, briny pickle jar was consumed in the middle of E.A.T. restaurant, the second half was demolished on Vodka's couch, which is, frankly, her very favorite culinary ambiance of all.

Ginger's:
Deviled Eggs-- The Spotted Pig

Heavenly Eggs of the Devil's Creation

Deviled eggs may be one of the easiest things to whip up in one's own kitchen, but why bother when you can sit at the Spotted Pig bar with a festive cocktail to accompany their more scrumptious variety?

Best Bar:
Vodka's:
Grilled Mushroom Stack -- o ya

The Mushrooms Must Be Awfully Good to Counteract the Lack of Cocktails

One might wonder why Vodka would choose a bar where she didn't actually consume a cocktail.  Well, o ya's accommodating staff allowed Vodka to sit at the chef's tasting bar by herself when the restaurant was barely open so that she could consume the Best Thing I Ever Ate dish, and any bar that she can take over on her own is one that holds a special place in her heart.  Solid work, Boston.

Ginger's:
French Onion Soup Dumplings -- Stanton Social Club

It's Hard to Dislike Something Smothered in Cheese

Sure, the French onion soup dumplings were delicious, but what makes Stanton Social Club the best bar is that we were the only ones there.  Full bartender attention, broad daylight, and silence: that's our kind of place.  (Plus, this is the location where we came up with the title of our blog -- creativity flourishes when we are left to our own mid-day drinking devices).

Best (Biggest) Surprise:
Vodka's:
Toro Tartare -- Morimoto

Sushi on the Rocks

Normally, a thin slab of raw fish, sans rice, would not be considered Vodka's go-to meal, but Morimoto's toro tartare is so ridiculously interesting that it makes a believer out of even the most reluctant sashimi eater.  Fresh fish, a smattering of dip choices, and a full-service Japanese toilet -- what else could someone want from a restaurant?

Ginger's:
Deep Fried Candy Bar – A Salt and Battery

The Real English Royalty

Ginger loves both fatty foods and state fairs, so her apathy towards deep-frying is somewhat baffling.  The truth is that she is not wild about fried Oreos or even classic funnel cake, but the deep-fried candy bars at A Salt and Battery are true to their Best Thing I Ever Ate episode: TOTALLY UNEXPECTED.

And there you have it: 100 posts down, innumerable Best Thing I Ever Ate dishes to go.  Perhaps by post 500, our tastes will change.  But somehow, we think that no matter where our tastebuds and Food Network stars lead us, we will always be loyal to one reliable constant: our dear friend, the cocktail.

And with that, we raise a toast to the next 100 dishes: May they all be the best things we ever ate.  Or at the very least, may they all be accompanied by some combination of vodka and ginger.