Burnt Ends on a Bun -- Gates Bar-B-Q, Kansas City, MO
For
a city renowned for its barbeque, said joints are strangely absent from Kansas City's Best Thing I Ever Ate list.
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| "What Are You Doing in Kansas City? Eating BBQ?" "No, Happy Hour Crawls" |
In fact, the only BBQ joint featured was Duff Goldman's favorite, Gates Bar-B-Q, home of the burnt
ends on a bun from the ORIGINAL episode.
 |
| Nothing Like Walking Along a Highway in Search of Some Charred Meat |
One would think that, as the
first ever dish he chose to be featured on the program, it would be
especially outstanding.
 |
| No Pressure, Gates |
One would be wrong.
 |
| Womp Womp |
After
all, this is Duff that we're talking about, and his taste in BTIEA
meals has been, with a few notable exceptions, mediocre at best.
 |
| And Downright Terrible at Worst |
Let's just say that his preferences at Gates are not his finest culinary
moment.
 |
| Like the BBQ Version of Fast Food, Without the "Fast" Component |
Ironically, while Joe's Bar-B-Que --
that of the "it's located in a gas station" fame -- seems to be by far
the most well-known of Kansas City's meaty enclaves, Gates makes Joe's
look downright gourmet.
 |
| Take Your Gallon with a Side of Ribs |
The restaurant itself resembles a run-down Pizza
Hut, with dimly lit dining rooms and workers that, despite the sign at
the entrance proclaiming "entering the smile zone!" are more adept at
yelling than grinning.
 |
| More Like "Gates, Where Smiles Go to Die" |
We order one burnt end
sandwich, which comes with pickles and Gates sauce, and after a single look at
the concoction, we are not optimistic.
 |
| Sloppy Joe on Steroids |
The meat resembles a chunky
version of pulled pork, and thanks to the whole "burnt end" bit (which,
we acknowledge, is the whole point), it feels like chewing on a mouthful
of stray fish bones.
 |
| Doesn't That Sound Appetizing? |
The sauce completely overpowers the taste of the
beef, which would be fine if it tasted like anything more than acidic ketchup.
 |
| Not Doing Much for Your BBQ Reputation, Kansas City |
We end up consuming a hearty portion of five bites each
before throwing in the towel, and much like all of our other experiences
in Kansas City, nobody seems to care about our displeasure.
 |
| Guess What, Kansas City? We Don't Care Either |
And
so, Vodka and Mezcal leave the Midwest with a distinct feeling of "meh," certain only
that, if nothing else, at least we'll always have Cleveland.
Gates Bar-B-Q's Burnt Ends on a Bun: 2 stars
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