Off the Map: A Good Meatloaf

Meatloaf - The 1770 House, East Hampton, NY

The 1770 House

If there is one person on Best Thing I Ever Ate who will rarely, if ever, steer you wrong, it is Ina Garten. Which is why, when you are among her stomping grounds in East Hampton, it is imperative that you spend as much time as possible frequenting her haunts.

Where Ina Goes, We Will Follow

Possibly her top haunt of all time is The 1770 House, which is both a historic inn and a restaurant - the latter featuring both a classic dining room and a basement tavern. After being advised that Ina herself prefers the atmosphere of the tavern, Vodka naturally chose the same ambience for her inaugural 1770 House meal.

Never Before Has Basement Dining Been So Chic

The tavern proves a bit treacherous to get to, due to a winding staircase that could most certainly take out anyone who's had a few too many martinis to her name. But once downstairs, it is all cozy charm - the perfect place to spend a snowy night while getting lit on cocktails which may or may cause you to be trapped in this basement until the end of time.

If "Comfort" Were a Restaurant, It Would Be the Tavern at 1770 House

Vodka orders the meatloaf, because that is what Ina instructed, even though never, in the history of her life, has she chosen meatloaf as her restaurant entree. 

Primarily Because the Staples of Her Dinners Are Booze, Cheese, and Carbohydrates

Prior to the arrival of our main dinners, we are greeted by freshly baked, warmed rolls (delectable) and our chosen appetizers - the spicy Montauk fluke tartare and the autumn salad. The fluke is especially delightful, featuring a subtle smattering of wasabi over the top which brings a pleasing kick to the entire enterprise.

Who Knew the Tavern Also Doubled as a Sushi Specialty Mart?

Onto the main event, the meatloaf itself, which Ina had featured on the THE CLASSICS episode of Best Thing I Ever Ate, is every good as Ina had promised. It's accompanied by potato puree, spinach, and a roasted garlic sauce which tastes undeniably like chicken broth (not a complaint). 

The Heel of the Loaf

While the meatloaf is indeed the best Vodka has ever had, it is, after all, still meatloaf, and while she would return to the 1770 House in a heartbeat, she would try one of the other staples of their menu.

Namely the Burger, and Even More Namely, the French Fries

After indulging in the chocolate brownie for dessert, Vodka tippy-toed carefully up the winding Tavern steps, clutching a wine glass in one hand and a rose bottle in the other, and all three emerged unscathed.

Brownie A La Lantern Light

As Ina herself would say, how easy is that?

The 1770's House Meatloaf: 4 stars

Off the Map: In a Hamptons Pickle

Salty Soured Pickled Rye Bread - Carissa's Bakery's, East Hampton, NY

Carissa's Bakery

For the first time in her life, Vodka has ventured to the wilds of the Hamptons to see and taste the East End institutions and cuisines which Ina Garten calls home. 

Can't You Just Picture Ina Sending Jeffrey Out to Fetch One of These Concoctions?

One such location is Carissa's Bakery, though Alex Guarnaschelli is the one who featured the place on Best Thing I Ever Ate for their KEY INGREDIENT episode.

Unfortunately, Ina's Mini-Cooper Was Not in the Parking Lot

The key ingredient in Carissa's case is pickle, as Alex's chosen dish is the salty soured pickled rye bread. Except when Vodka goes about actually ordering this concoction, she cannot come up with its name, and says to (the person she can only guess is Carissa herself), "Do you have that pickle loaf?"

This Kind of Classy Ordering Style is the Reason the Hamptons Don't Welcome Us

Along with the loaf, Vodka and her parents are at Carissa's for breakfast, so we order three bacon and egg sandwiches, three lattes, and said hunk of bread. The total for this breakfast comes to... wait for it....

$108.

$108!!!!!

Is Ina herself hand-curing these pickling liquids as a favor to Carissa?! Because we cannot for the life of us come up with why the total FOR BREAKFAST is so astronomical.

Do You Know How Many McDonald's Hashbrowns We Could Buy for $108?!

Price aside, the sandwiches in question are good, if not worth $57 a piece (give or take a few pennies). 

Sandwiches in Photo May Feature More Collard Greens Than Originally Advertised

In truth, they are mostly filling spread heavily on two enormous slices of sourdough and topped with one fried egg and a few slices of bacon. The lattes, in contrast, are truly delectable, and wind up being the highlight of this morning excursion.

Perhaps Carissa's Should Rebrand as a Barista Training Ground

Onto the subject at hand, the pickle bread is delivered warmed out out of the oven, and, sans an available knife, Vodka begins hacking into it with her fingertips. 

A More Elegant Slice Which Survived Vodka Tearing the Loaf to Shreds

At first, it is fairly pleasing - after all, this blog has rarely met a pickle, or pickle-flavored item, it did not enjoy. The interior of the loaf is incredibly spongy and chewy, while the top, with a generous (some would say "too generous") helping of caraway seeds, has a firmer bite.

If Pickles Had Yeast

This bread may be just the ticket for making a sandwich when there is a dearth of pickles available, but other than that, Vodka can't quite figure out what it complements best. Back at home, she tried it alongside chicken noodle soup (it got lost) and morning eggs (it was just... odd), and it felt like too strong of a flavor to pair easily with other foods (after a day away from the warmth of Carissa's oven, it is the caraway seeds, and not the pickle, that prove to be the most potent).

You Know What Would Work Better than Caraway Seeds? Everything Bagel Seasoning.
You're Welcome, Carissa's

In sum, Carissa's Bakery served as a suitable introduction to the Hamptons, if mostly because every place Vodka ventured afterwards seemed downright cheap in comparison. Based on their display of sweets, it appears that, despite Alex Guarnaschelli's recommendation, it may be their pastries that are actually something to write home about.

A Real Toss-Up as to Which Is More Eye-Catching: This or... the Pickle Bread

And isn't that just the pickle.

Carissa's Bakery's Salty Soured Pickled Rye Bread: 3 stars