|Pigeons of the World Rejoice|
|You Really Missed Out, Chow - We Would've Consumed This Whole Cauldron Ourselves|
|Clearly, The Mr. Chow Graffiti Artist Knew We Were Coming|
|Sophia Petrillo Will Be Joining Us for Dinner, Thanks|
|Not to Be Outdone on the Old Maid Scale, Ginger Is Busy Filling Her Water Glass with Airborne|
"Hold on," Vodka waves her hand in Ginger's face, completely ignoring her self-pitying cry for attention in order to photograph the drinks in all of their splendor. Apparently, nothing gets in the way of our loyalty to this nonsensical mission.
|"My Life Is Falling Apart." "You're Blocking My Light."|
|We Didn't Trek All the Way Down Here for No Stinkin' Chicken!|
"Nobody wanted to eat squab," he explains. "So we changed it."
"But we wanted squab," Ginger whines.
"Yes," the captain sympathizes. "I prefer squab too. It has more flavor." We nod our agreement, as if either of us has ever considered feasting upon a pigeon, let alone actually done so. In any case, while all of this back and forth may explain why Mr. Chow no longer serves pigeon, it does NOT elucidate WHY THE DISH IS STILL CALLED "SQUAB WITH LETTUCE" ON THE MENU.
|We'd Like to File a Consumer Complaint with the FTC|
|This Is What One Would Call "Manipulation of the Drunks"|
|Well Played, Von Trapp|
|Mr. Chow Has Thought of Everything... Except for How to Serve Pigeon and to Hide Electrical Cords|
|Is THIS How You Want Your Food to Look, Chow?!|
|Doin' the Pigeon... Or Not, As the Case May Be|
|Inexplicably, Vodka Could Not Get Enough Pictures of the Lettuce Leaves|
|Lettuce: A Study in Portraiture|
"What is this?" Ginger asks.
"I don't know, some noodle thing," Vodka not-so-helpfully responds.
"I meant the sauce," Ginger clarifies.
|Straight Out of Giada's Kitchen|
|But Let's Be Real - We Feel This Way About Most Carbs|
|Someone Hand Over the Hoisin|
|Scallion Pancakes? More Like Scallion Layer Cakes|
|The Blessed Salty Sauce of the Gods... Or Is It?|
"A bowl to wash our fingers?" Vodka tries to interpret.
"Yes," the busboy answers before skedaddling away. At this point, we are convinced that it is so rare at Mr. Chow for customers to ask for something as third-class as "soy sauce" that the first busboy misinterpreted Ginger's initial request as being "a bowl to wash our fingers." Needless to say, this circumstance causes mass hysteria, especially since we are deep into our second pomegranate martinis.
|And Worst of All, We're Still Stuck with Bland Pancakes|
|A Compendium of Sauces|
|Now Looking Suspiciously Like Scallion Donuts|
|On Second Thought, We'd Like to Send This Back to the Kitchen for Being "Too Much Food"|
|Enough Rice For Everyone Dining at 6:00pm|
|A Tip-Off to This Orange Beef Comparison Could Have Been the Fact That It's, Well, Orange|
|The Captain Is Obviously Trying to Bankrupt Us|
$200+ is a heck of a price to pay for some fake pigeon.
Mr. Chow's Squab with Lettuce: 4 stars