We Brought Our Own Mixer

Egg Nog -- Ronnybrook Farm Dairy
Ronnybrook Farm Dairy

"The egg nog is unspiked, if that's the concern."

And with this sentence, Vodka persuades Ginger to go on our last Best Thing I Ever Ate eating spree of 2011.  The irony being that she had to convince Ginger that we were NOT going to end up loaded on cheap alcoholic beverages in order to get her out of her apartment.

On the most recent SEASON'S EATINGS episode of Best Thing I Ever Ate, Alex Guarnaschelli spoke of the egg nog created by Ronnybrook Farm Dairy.  The egg nog which is only offered during the month of December.

The egg nog that Vodka is hellbent on procuring this year, no matter how hectic our non-Food Network schedules.

Vodka Can Be a Nag About the Nog

And so, with the promise that we will not end up tipsy and stumbling out of lunch like two Beverly Hills housewives, we meet at Roc to say goodbye to 2011 in high style.  But first, there is the egg nog with which to contend.

Vodka had purchased said nog two days prior during a jaunt to Chelsea Market.  In fact, she had tasted the stuff at the same time, as waiting three hours for a Stephen Sondheim event at Barnes and Noble had left her in search of a liquid cure (for the record, egg nog does not the most effective thirst quencher make).

Kind of Like Drinking the Textural Equivalent of Elmer's Glue

Not being overly fond of the stuff in general, Vodka often finds the first taste of egg nog delicious and then grows more and more bored with every subsequent sip.  Therefore, while she found the Ronnybrook Farm's version pleasing, she was not particularly blown away.

Though Thanks for the Christmas Greetings, Ronnybrook

Ginger, in contrast, loves egg nog.  In fact, "love" would be an understatement when it comes to her affection for this Christmastime cocktail.  So when Vodka arrives at Roc (after some minor confusion regarding the nonsensical streets of Tribeca) and hands Ginger her individual portion of the stuff, she finds it quite enjoyable.  Though she may have found it more enjoyable were we not so paranoid about drinking this foreign beverage in a completely unrelated culinary establishment.  It's like Bring Your Own Pickle-Gate all over again.

PS Apparently, Roc Only Has Room for One at Their Bar

As we take clandestine sips of our respective egg nogs and the waitstaff looks on in judgment, Vodka comments, "We're already the spectacle and the egg nog is still in our bags."

Vodka is, naturally, referring to the fact that she plans on asking for a shot of bourbon in order to complete our egg nog experience. After all, if Alex Guarnaschelli had recommended adding alcohol, we are not one to argue.  And so, with a major hint of sheepishness, Vodka asks our waitress, "Can I also have a shot of bourbon?" 

Lunch Beverage Double-Hitter of Champions

To her Oscar-worthy-acting-skills credit, the waitress does not react to this request with any more than a solemn nod, despite the fact that we are already deep into our half bottle of wine and keep reaching for our handbags like neurotic senior citizens.  When she trots off to the bar in search of our request, Ginger confesses, "I was really afraid she was going to ask you what kind of bourbon you wanted."

A few minutes later, the waitress appears with an intimidatingly deep glass of the sour brown liquid which we usually make every effort to avoid.  Vodka sets it aside with a flippant, "Let's just drink our wine and worry about this problem later," and we delay the inevitable for as long as we can.

Which in this case, is approximately 20 minutes.

At that time, Vodka retrieves her egg nog from her bag and pours half of it, lickety split, into the bourbon-laden shot glass. Finding her fork to be the only appropriate stirrer, she mixes the "cocktail" to the best of her ability and takes a sip.

Why Vodka Is Not a Bartender

And her face contorts into the expression of an obvious non-bourbon drinker.

Ginger's slurp, which is even more tentative than Vodka's, confirms the fact that we are not meant to drink any hard liquor (which in our case amounts to anything that is not wine, vodka, or gin).  In fact, we believe the Ronnybrook Farm Dairy egg nog, like the Stand toasted marshmallow shake, is much more pleasant in virgin form.

Egg Nog Was Presumably Mary's Favorite Beverage

It is excessively creamy, slightly spicy, and contains a solid helping of cinnamon, all of which makes for a comforting, if incredibly rich, drink.  The bourbon only mutes all of the otherwise tasty components, rendering the egg nog the Shirley Temple of the Christmas holiday.

Look Away, Roc Waitress.  Nothing to See Here

As it happens, we are both mildly obsessed with Ronnybrook Farm Dairy's chocolate milk, which remains the quintessentially perfect cow-based beverage we have ever tasted.  And while we are certain that the egg nog from Ronnybrook is of ten times greater quality than that from our local grocery store, we're just not sure we would seek it out again.

But we are positive that we will never, ever make another request for bourbon.

Ronnybrook Farm Dairy's Egg Nog: 4 stars