There's Salt In This, Right?

Salty Pimp -- Big Gay Ice Cream
Big Gay Ice Cream

"I'm so glad you're moving out of this neighborhood," Vodka confesses to Ginger as we make our way through the East Village away from Casa Adela.  "Hipsters everywhere."  In truth, we are rendered incapable of either describing those we have branded "hipsters," or of articulating exactly why we dislike them, but our contempt stands.

Note: Those Who Hate Hipsters Are Generally Not "Hip."  "Nerds" If You Will

It is perhaps partly due to this disdain of the perpetual line of hipsters that forms outside the premises that Ginger has thus far avoided going to the Big Gay Ice Cream Shop, despite its proximity to her apartment and her affinity for all things sugar.

That, Or She Has a Long-Hidden Phobia of Unicorn Decor

In truth, we are more than grateful that the Big Gay enterprise has opened a store, as the last thing we ever feel like doing is chasing an ice cream truck around the city (which had been the original incarnation of the business).  And we are even more grateful that there is no line of patrons, hipsters or otherwise, wrapped around the block when we arrive.

Patience Is Not Our Friend

We order a single Salty Pimp ice cream cone, as recommended by Gail Simmons on the STREET FOOD episode of Best Thing I Ever Ate.  Lucky for us, the store has conquered the problems two people might have in sharing a chocolate-shelled dessert by providing us with both a plastic dish and spoons, leading to a neater, if unconventional, dive into an ice cream cone.

Genius Serving Technique

The Salty Pimp consists of vanilla soft serve ice cream, dulce de leche, sea salt, and a chocolate dipped coating.  Normally, we both hate chocolate shells because of how difficult they are to eat, but the dish and spoon combo has rendered this complaint a moot point.  Plus, the chocolate layer is thin, light, and easily breakable -- the ideal consistency for coating the rest of the ingredients.  The dulce de leche sauce is sweet and comforting, and the Big Gay Ice Cream staff's technique of inserting it into the crevices of the cone and the ice cream means that it is apparent in almost every bite.

What Would You Do for a Klondike - er - Big Gay Bar?

Most importantly, the vanilla ice cream itself is second to none in flavor and texture, providing the perfect base for the rest of the components (but in truth, it would be almost equally delicious on its own).

Please Note That Ginger Tarnished ALL of Our Pictures with Her Faulty Spoon Action

And finally, in a typical display of "genius," three bites into the cone, Vodka asks Ginger, "There's salt in this, right?" and does not understand when Ginger answers with only a blank stare of superiority.

"Hence the name," Ginger finally manages to sputter.  "SALTY Pimp."

This Coming from the Girl Who Spilled Ice Cream on Her Shirt...

...AND Her Pants

In any case, the salt is not only the ideal addition to creation, but its presence means that the Salty Pimp is just about the most perfect Best Thing I Ever Ate dish in the history of this blog.  Why?  For us, it is the best of both worlds -- sweet for Ginger, salty for Vodka, and scrumptious all around.

Congratulations, Big Gay Ice Cream, On Shutting Down Each of Our Go-To Complaints

To the very last bite of the wafer cone, the combination of flavors never dissipates, proving that the Big Gay Ice Cream Shop is the undisputed king of delectable-if-inappropriately-named ice cream.

Though Who Are We to Turn Down a Salty Pimp Before Noon?

As we finish our cone, Ginger grows increasingly hostile towards the crowd of customers hovering outside of Butter Lane cupcakes right next door.  It seems the group is gathering in order to take a class on proper cupcake creation, and this fact is slowly turning Ginger onto her last nerve.

"Not to be funny," she whisper-yells to Vodka.  "But who needs to take a CLASS to learn how to make a CUPCAKE?!  It's a CUPCAKE."

As Vodka mocks Ginger's rampant hostility towards cupcake classes ("As if you're such a WIZARD in the kitchen"), Ginger reasons that we might indeed share more qualities with our mortal enemies than we care to admit.

"I guess we do have one thing in common with hipsters," she begins.  "We are SUPER judgmental."

But, whether in ice cream or in life, that is only because we have good taste.

At Least, That Is What All the Places We Have Rated 5 Stars Tell Us

Big Gay Ice Cream's Salty Pimp: 5 stars*

*Certifiable Best Thing We Ever Ate