Monday, August 25, 2014

Perhaps the BOTTLE of Wine Was Unncessary

Oklahoma Jumbo Beef Rib -- Daisy May's BBQ
Daisy May's BBQ

As it should be abundantly clear, we don't really care to socialize with other people, particularly people we don't know.  After all, half the time, we barely care to socialize with each other.  
"Do You Want to Go to Dinner Tomorrow?" "Eh, How About Next Week?"
If one were to look up the definition of "introvert" in the dictionary, pictures of us would appear alongside the term, and they would feature us lounging on our respective couches.
So Really, All Restaurants Should Thank Us for Deigning to Grace Them with Our Presence
It is for this reason that getting us to attend any sort of happy hour event is a rather fruitless effort.  However, when we received an alert that a college alumni happy hour would be taking place in town, we perked up at the news only when we read the line concerning "free vodka."  It seems that in an attempt to get people to arrive early (always our strong suit), the organizers of said happy hour were offering free vodka drinks from 6:00-7:00pm.  So naturally, we showed up at the stroke of 6:00pm, and we ran out of there as fast as our booze-washed knees could carry us at the stroke of 7:00.

And we ran directly across the street in order to chow down on some bar-b-que.  We are nothing if not resourceful.
Bring on the Giant Rib
You see, although Michael Symon had recommended the jumbo beef rib at Daisy May's BBQ years ago, we had never mustered up the energy to go there.  Because Daisy May's BBQ is SO FAR WEST that it might as well be floating in the middle of the Hudson River.  And to make matters worse, not only does it take the concept of "west side" to a new level, but the restaurant is also on 46th Street, which is essentially in the middle of a whole lot of nothing.  How this place has stayed open is beyond us.
Well, "Staying Open" May Soon Be a Thing of the Past at This Rate
Anyway, when we stumble through the door of Daisy May's, it becomes clear that we're not the only one who thinks the place's location is terrible, as the dining room is completely empty.  We settle down in a back corner, because we are drawn to corners like hermits to a cave, and get down to ordering.  No sooner have we taken our seats than Vodka hears the following exchange go down between Ginger and the waitress:

"Would you like something to drink?"
"Do you have wine?"
"Yes, would you like a glass or a bottle?"
"A bottle."

Ginger utters this phrase so automatically -- and so quickly -- that neither of us stop to ponder the ramifications of this statement.  
Namely That By Tomorrow Morning, We May Not Be Alive
In possibly the only good decision we make of the night, Vodka immediately asks for water, and when she downs her cup in a single gulp, the waitress finally seems to understand who she's dealing with, and she sets down a full pitcher.  Which we drink, to the last bitter drop.

Unfortunately, we also drink the entire bottle of wine.
You Win Some, You Lose Some
In order to help soak up the free (read: cheap) vodka and BBQ joint (read: cheap) wine, we request the beef rib from the BAR-B-QUE episode of Best Thing I Ever Ate, along with mac and cheese, baked beans with burnt ends, and corn bread as our sides.  
Spelling Check, Daisy May -- Let's Take Another Look at "Symon," Shall We?
Literally (literally) three minutes later, our tray of food appears before us, which we dive into almost as quickly as we drink our wine.
Taking the Concept of Fast Food to Another Level
The beef rib itself is massive -- one and a half pounds of thick meat adhered to a dinosaur-like bone.  We begin tearing into it like the cavewomen we are, and with the first bite, Vodka predictably proclaims, "Salt.  It needs salt."  
Dear Restaurants, Generally, Everything Needs Salt -- Please Oblige Us Accordingly
Now, the rib is good.  It tastes particularly good to Ginger, as she has eaten nothing but vegetarian dishes for the past two weeks ("Why are you trying to become vegetarian?" "I'm not -- it's just what I made for lunch.")  
And for the OPPOSITE of Vegetarian, We Present....
We find picking the thing up and biting into it makes it somehow more appetizing than approaching it gingerly, and the slightly crunchy texture on top leaves the rest of the meat rather succulent underneath.  However, as far as flavor, it doesn't taste like all that much sauce has been applied, though naturally, the whole experience improves when Vodka douses it with multiple packages of salt.
Our Natural Palate is Sodium-Based
Unfortunately for the rib, we find the side dishes much more pleasing.  The beans with burnt ends are downright delicious, as is the macaroni and cheese.  And frankly, we would prefer a pound and a half of them over the meat.  
Beans, Beans, and Nothing But Beans
Could We Have Another Three Bowls, Please?
Good to the Last Drop
The corn bread is also quite tasty, and massive in portion (Ginger, who only allows herself to eat unsalted butter at home (the horror) finds the accompanying pad of butter especially glorious).  
Everything's Better with Butter
And our preference for the side dishes seems to make clear why we can both go weeks without eating meat, but deny us a carb for more than six hours, and we could cut someone.
We Didn't Quite Lick Our Plates When It Came to This Meaty Monstrosity
So would we make another trek all the way to 46th and 11th to sample Daisy May's delicacies again?  "If forced to go to another alumni happy hour, I guess I'd come back," Ginger correctly sums up the experience.
Vodka and Ginger Get Your Gun
But in the meantime, we'll be steering clear of both free vodka and all further attempts to get us to leave our apartments.

Daisy May's BBQ Oklahoma Jumbo Beef Rib: 3 stars

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