Off the Map: But Where Are the Nachos?

Cracklin' Nachos - Kingfish, New Orleans, LA

Kingfish

Here's the thing to know about nachos: They are Vodka's kryptonite. There have been many a night in the restaurants of New York City where Vodka (after a solid serving of vodka itself) has requested the kitchen draw up a plate of salted chips, melted cheese, and a heap of sour cream (whether or not said kitchen actually has nachos on the menu). So imagine her excitement when she saw that one of the new Best Thing I Ever Ate New Orleans dishes was one featuring the word "nachos" in the title.

The Beverage That Typically Leads to Nacho Consumption

Spoiler alert: They were not, in fact, nachos. 

Womp Womp

After a rousing trip on a swamp tour (where we were the only customers, and thankfully only spotted 1.5 alligators), Vodka and Whiskey Sour head to Kingfish to try Marc Murphy's chosen STACKED dish, the pork cracklin' nachos.

"Swamp Tour" Is a Phrase Vodka Never Thought Would Appear on One of Her Travel Itineraries

Now, when Vodka read this title, she (perhaps stupidly) assumed that a platter of tortilla chips would arrive piled with the usual nacho toppings, as well as some pulled pork and crumbled up cracklin'. Instead, what appears is what the title actually reads: pork cracklin' nachos. The cracklins are the "nachos." There are no chips. The chips are the cracklins and the cracklins are the chips.

First Impression: Please Return to Sender

Vodka has had cracklins exactly once in her life, when she and Ginger visited Chicago, and she has never felt the need to consume them again. And indeed, upon first taste of these nachos, her fears prove worthy - the cracklin is SO CRACKLIN that she's convinced she's about to chip a molar. However, as we make our way through the dish, most of the cracklins themselves are thankfully less teeth-breakingly crunchy, and the results are a somewhat pleasing, though definitely not expected, offering.

And We're Also Going to Need About Ten More Helpings of Sour Cream

These "nachos" come topped with pulled pork, pimento cheese sauce, pickles, tomatoes, poblanos, and sour cream. Frankly, the condiments are a little sparse, especially because the more saturated cracklins are easier to chew. We decide that this would be a gratifying dish when either drunk (i.e. when Vodka is most prone to order nachos) or hungover, though it could definitely use an added spice from sliced jalapenos (the poblanos just don't pack the same level of punch).

In Positive News, We Once Again Managed to Dine Alone

Overall, while we appreciate the inventiveness of this play on nachos, they don't stack up to the real thing. After all, with our garden variety nachos, we don't typically need to check that all our teeth are still intact upon exiting the premises.

Kingfish's Cracklin' Nachos: 3 stars