By the time we arrive at Bar Boulud, we are three sheets to the wind from our foray into all-you-can-drink cocktails at Fatty Crab. Stumbling down the stairs in search of the restroom, Vodka finds herself in the private quarters of the restaurant. Why?
"Call me crazy, but a sign that says 'LaLas' with an arrow is pointing towards the ladies room," she tells Ginger upon returning to their booth.
"On what planet does 'LaLas' translate to 'Women's Restroom?'" Ginger laughs judgmentally. Clearly another drink is in order, so we peruse the cocktail menu. Without thinking twice or analyzing our choices, Vodka chooses a vodka drink and Ginger, a ginger one. We are true to form in all states of competence.
Our waitress, clearly a soothsayer, properly translates this pronouncement into split portions and extra plates. She is apparently the only person we have encountered today who has not instantly written us off as being lunatics.
However, when our saintly waitress comes around with the complimentary bread basket asking for our choices, Vodka grows guilty about the fact that she has not actually ordered brunch and offers to pay for the bread. Upon refusal, Ginger gains a chuckle about this proposition while regaling (the now shoe-less, by the way, as her feet hurt. Classy) Vodka about the history of Thomas Keller's restaurant, "Chinese Laundry." Keller owns the French Laundry.
Drinking has not made us any smarter.
|What Vodka Offered to Shell Out a Few Nickels For|
|Greens Greens and Nothing But Greens (Into the Woods Reference - Anyone?)|
Let us tell you, the French know how to do bread and cheese.
|The Level of Cheesiness is Perfection|
By this point, our waitress is presumably done with her shift and has disappeared, leaving us in the hands of a much less capable waiter who takes approximately 18 hours to find our ice cream (which is light and refreshing pink sorbet with whipped cream) and check (which is very high numbered).
|We Capped This Off with Cones from Mister Softee. No Joke|
Bar Boulud's Croque Monsieur: 5 stars*
*Certifiable Best Thing We Ever Ate