Hill Country Chicken
Let's be clear: Hill Country Chicken could serve spam and Ginger would most likely still frequent the place merely for its music selection.
A country music aficionado, she can be found warbling along with the likes of George Strait, Josh Turner, and Trace Adkins throughout our meal, while Vodka, whose musical taste begins and ends with the stylings of Bernadette Peters, looks on in judgment.
Lucky for Vodka, we are not at Hill Country Chicken only for Ginger's personal country karaoke session: we are here to eat Scott Conant's favorite FRIED CHICKEN: the Mama Els' Recipe, along with about 87 side dishes and a box of wine.
|They Do Chicken Right|
Anyway, we join the excessively long and winding line of poultry eaters and consult the menu board. Vodka's suggestion of getting the Pick of the Chick sampling to split between us is shot down by Ginger, who believes eight pieces of meat is about seven too many. After all of this scoffing about overeating, however, we proceed to place an order that includes just about every item that Hill Country Chicken offers: chicken, biscuits, cole slaw, corn salad, pimento macaroni and cheese, banana cream pie, and a box of wine.
|Pretty Little Boxes|
Considering it is mid-afternoon, Ginger at first thinks it is preposterous to order anything other than the small box, especially after the server explains that it contains two-thirds of a bottle of wine. More than enough, right? Wrong.
Upon laying eyes on the small box of wine, which is much more akin to a Minute Maid juice box, Vodka, without even bothering to consult Ginger, says to the server, "I think we're going to need the large box."
Acquiring our trays of food, we stumble upon an open table mere feet from the cash register, a rarity during the hustle and bustle of the lunch rush. Pouncing on it, it is not until we sit down that we realize why the table had been vacant: it is approximately the size of a pool table, with only two chairs.
|Beauty and the Beast-Sized Dining Arrangement|
Back to the food: we dive into the Best Thing I Ever Ate choice first, and it is indeed everything that Scott Conant had promised.
|Little Drummer Boy|
|Finger Lickin' Good|
|Please, Sir, I Want Some More|
|A Hearty Cup of Slaw|
|Why Does the Word "Corny" Have Such a Negative Connotation with Masterpieces Like This to Its Name?|
|And We Mean Ridiculous in the Best Way Possible|
|A Yellow Color Palate|
|Not Your Dog's Biscuit|
|Four and Twenty Bananas Baked in a Pie|
|A Scene from Overeaters Anonymous|
|Unfortunately, It Had Been Another Evening Spent with Boxed Wine, Spilled or Otherwise|
Hill Country Chicken's Mama Els' Recipe Chicken: 5 stars*
*Certifiable Best Thing We Ever Ate