Have you any idea how difficult it is to continually search for a restaurant called "Strip House" and not feel just a bit dirty and a trifle lewd?
|Have We No Decency Anymore?!|
|Um, Yeah -- Any Entrees That Don't Require Us to Throw Down a Wad of Hundreds?!|
|We Mean -- The Grill Room Has Its Own Bar -- What More Could We Possibly Want?|
|And Also to Begin Stuffing Our Faces with Carbs|
|We "Toasted" With These No Less Than Three Times|
|So, To Translate, We Are Not Satisfied At All|
|As a Sidenote, Who Puts a GIANT Pepper and an OLIVE on a Burger?|
|Clearly, Strip Houses Are Not Overly Concerned with Their Patrons' Sodium Intake|
|It's Never the Big Things That Bring You Down, Restaurants -- It's the Pickles|
|Does This Look "Medium" to You?!|
|"You Know, I Really Don't Like Chocolate Cake" = NOT the Thing to Say When This Appears|
|In This Particular Telling, the Cake Would Be the Villain|
|Miles to Go Before We Eat|
And speaking of ice....
The cake is cold. COLD. Not just chilled, but downright frigid, like it has been pulled out of the freezer rather than the refrigerator (perhaps it was keeping the butter dishes company).
|Apparently, Strip House Thinks They Excel at Ice Art|
|Also, Cake Is Meant to FIT IN OUR MOUTHS|
|And For Our Final Course, We'll Take a Bowl of Pennies, Thanks|
Therefore, we have no choice other than to convict Strip House of murder in the first degree for effectively killing our dessert.
Strip House's Chocolate Cake: 2 stars