If there is something one would expect from a restaurant located in the Museum of Modern Art, it would be a stark, clean, and uncluttered setting, right?
Well, not if you're Vodka.
|Apparently, She Believes the Name Must Be False Advertising|
"Um, it's called THE MODERN," Ginger replies. Clearly, Vodka's penchant for shabby-chic decor has rendered her use of context clues completely moot.
|No One Around Here Appreciates a Good Throw Pillow|
Only by "accessories," Ginger means "bread basket."
|Some Girls Only Travel with Designer Purses. We, With Bread|
"Why? Humorless?" Vodka asks. Ginger nods. "Then let's torture her."
Because clearly, the proper way to deal with all folks who don't find comedy in our idiocy is to make even bigger morons out of ourselves.
|Here's a Tip, Waitress: If You Ply Us With Cocktails Immediately, We're a Lot More Agreeable|
Less than a minute later, we can be found tapping our silverware against the table and jiggling our legs in various states of booze- and bread-withdrawal. "Where is service? I need a cocktail and you need bread!" Vodka calls out. Obviously, our 5:30pm dining time does not mean that we are prepared to partake in a leisurely meal.
|We Come From the Hoover School of Food Consumption|
|Gin, Gin, Everywhere, And Not a Drop to Drink|
|The Ultimate Vision of "Gin O'Clock"|
|Excuse Me, Could You Throw In Some Extra Pickles Please?|
"Have you ever eaten liverwurst?" Vodka asks.
"No. But I know I hate it," Ginger reasons.
|Liver Lovers, Only Not|
|We're Gonna Make Mincemeat Out of You|
|PS Strong Move on Providing Us Even More Bread, Modern|
Look who doesn't hate liver so much after all!
|Wonder of Wonder, Miracle of Miracles|
|In Case We Have Not Already Made Clear, We Do Not Enjoy the Taste of Soil|
|In This Case, "Patiently" Is Decidedly a Relative Term|
|NOW We're Talkin' -- See All That Cheese, Serious Pie?!|
|Yes, We'll Take Another Upscale Pizza Delivery. Thanks in Advance|
|Clink Clink Clink - Empty Glasses Over Here|
|Noodles and Gin -- What More Could We Possibly Need?|
|More "Rustic" Restaurants Have Properly Sized Silverware. Just Sayin'|
|Even Better? No Rabbit Bones In This Bowl!|
Though next time, Modern, how about some free refills?
The Modern's Liverwurst: 4 stars