Ginger has taken up Skinnygirl baking. Following in the footsteps of Vodka, who has been teaching herself to cook via Bethenny Frankel’s cookbooks since last summer, Ginger arrives at Scarpetta for our next Best Thing I Ever Ate dinner armed with a moist Skinnygirl muffin.
“I’ve already eaten half the batch,” she admits.
|A Picture That's Not Worth a Thousand Words|
“Yeah, I had to substitute fat ingredients wherever Bethenny said to use skinny,” Ginger confesses. So there we have it.
We are escorted to our table at Scarpetta (once Vodka walked back and forth in front of the place four times – the restaurant name is not exactly paramount and Vodka is not exactly a genius). Handed the wine list by our waiter (who, for the record, never disappears. We’re looking at you, Cipriani Dolci), we are instantly confused. We pretty much know how to order glasses of “Pinot Grigio” or “Pinot Noir.” If wines are not called by these terms, we need English-to-English translation of the list. Upon telling the waiter our desired preferences (“Wine that tastes like Pinot Grigio/Pinot Noir and is cheap”), we are provided with two glasses perfectly suited to our tastes. Point number one, Scarpetta, for not making us feel like total morons.
With our wine comes the Greatest Bread Basket to Ever Exist on Earth.
Unlike establishments (cough Balthazar cough) who charge you $16 for subpar bread, this heavenly bread basket is provided gratis, and it is comprised of approximately 87 varieties (or 4, but who’s counting?). One of these varieties is Stromboli. STROMBOLI. We don’t even know the last time we have tasted the indulgence that is a loaf of pepperoni, cheese, and bread. We are out of our minds with glee.
|Best. Bread. Basket. Ever.|
|The Bread Dips After Our Massacre of Them|
|Who Knew Polenta Was So Delicious?|
“Did you see the bread boy tried to take my plate?!” she whisper-yells across the table.
From this moment on, we are obsessed with referring to the poor soul as the "Bread Boy," because, after all, based on the quality of Scarpetta bread, it is his most important function.
For our entrees, Ginger, once again breaking rank, gets some sort of short rib ravioli-like pasta. This, too, is great.
Ted Allen doesn’t lie.
The spaghetti is presented in a compact sphere that is deceiving to its serving size – there’s actually quite a lot of it once you spread it out.
|Optical Illusion Pasta Portion|
|Al Dente Much?|
Scarpetta’s Spaghetti (plus bread basket): 5 stars*
*Certifiable Best Thing We Ever Ate