The first thing you need to know about Vodka's second full day in Seattle is that she took a duck tour by herself. No, not just sans Chianti, who was at work (the nerve!), but ALL ALONE ON THE DUCK.
|And Let's Just Say the Duck Boats Don't Look as "Sturdy" As These Contraptions|
|Cue Celine Dion Belting "All By Myself"|
|SERIOUSLY -- They Are All SALUTING|
|Nice Potted Shrubbery|
|Hey Market -- Ever Hear of Importing?|
|When It Comes to Best Thing I Ever Ate - Seattle, Half the Battle is the Food Showing Up|
|Also Always Appreciative of a Themed Cocktail Napkin. It's the Little Things|
|Other Synonym Possibilities: Terrible. Horrible. Disgusting|
|Spoon of Horror|
a) lemon -- SO MUCH lemon;
b) a crab shell (this is at least the third time this has happened in Seattle. Let’s not even get started on our experiences in New York);
c) not nearly enough breading.
Now, understandably, Vodka is most likely alone on her feelings regarding point C, as she prefers a patty enclosed by carbs. The crab meat itself, which is indeed plentiful here, is almost... too much. And definitively too lemony.
And without a doubt in need of some tartar sauce.
|Hi, Yes, Might You Have Any Condiments?|
|Ketchup Is Not Meant to be a Putrid Orange|
|Half a Plate's Worth. Keep This Image in Mind|
"We don't take these," he says, pointing to the gift certificate.
"Yes, you do," Vodka insists. "You take OpenTable reservations, so you take their gift certificates."
With a definitive look of non-belief, the bartender says, "Well, I've never seen one before. I will have to check." Yeah, you do that, mister. And guess what? You'll discover that you TAKE THE GIFT CARDS.
|Also, Could You Throw in a Side of Regular Ketchup in the Bag? Thanks|
We place our order for a new round of cocktails, and 15 minutes later, when a doggie bag has still not appeared, Vodka sicks our new waiter on the bartender. Apparently, Mr. Know-It-All has had to have the kitchen whip up a new round of crab cakes, as they had thrown out the rest of Vodka's serving. Way to use your listening skills, Big Shot.
|PS As You Throw Together This New Round of Cakes, Feel Free to Use Less Lemon|
|$16 a Cake?! Not Cool, Mr. Douglas|
Dahlia Lounge's Lemon-Scallion Dungeness Crab Cakes: 3 stars