Monday, April 11, 2016

Off the Map: Elvis Has Left the Building

Bacon Old Fashioned -- Patterson House, Nashville, TN
The Patterson House

We've said it before and we'll say it again: if your restaurant was featured on a nationally broadcast television program for a particular dish, DO NOT TAKE SAID DISH OFF THE MENU.
We're Not Hard to Please: Give Us the Dish and Ply Us with Liquor. That's All There Is To It
Now we're looking at your, Patterson House.
Bottles, Bottles Everywhere and Not a Drop to Drink
Vodka is currently traipsing through Nashville with her friend, who has opted to call herself Grey Goose ("On the Rocks with a Twist of Lemon" serving as her middle name).  
Last Name: "Actually, Make That Two"
While in town, we naturally venture to the two Best Thing I Ever Ate locales that Nashville has to offer.  
Such Mission-Driven Activities Are the Price One Pays for Being Vodka's Friend
We begin at The Patterson House, home of Claire Robinson's favorite HOLIDAY dish, the Elvis Panini with a Bacon Old-Fashioned.  The problem with this plan?  NO ELVIS PANINI is on the menu.
We Are Certain That Elvis Would NOT Be Pleased
Rather than throwing an appropriate fit (which most certainly would have happened had Ginger been in attendance), Grey Goose seems to have a calming effect on Vodka, who -- with only a mild whine -- orders us each the second half of Claire's choice, Don Lee's Bacon Old-Fashioned.  
How to Appease Vodka: Hand Her a Cocktail. Immediately. If Not Sooner
The cocktails are made in front of us -- in the same shaker, which will prove significant later -- and then poured over a large round ice cube.  After only one sip, Vodka is fairly sure that she has never seen Grey Goose look more excited, while Vodka herself is puckering her lips.

"It's very bacony," she states the obvious (being that it's called a BACON Old-Fashioned, and all). 
"I love the maple and coffee pecan bitters," Grey Goose says, which immediately makes Vodka reach out to snatch her drink.  With one taste, Vodka declares that Grey Goose's cocktail is "better" than hers, despite the fact that logic dictates this can't be possible.  
One of These Things Is Not Like the Other (If You Ask Vodka, That Is)
After accepting her fate that Vodka is going to make her switch drinks, Grey Goose declares, "It's delicious.  I would absolutely get it again.  I'd give it a 4."

"It's getting a 3," Vodka says.
"Even that one?" Grey Goose quips, pointing at the "better" of the two options before us.  
Touche, Grey Goose
While we appreciate the uniqueness of the cocktail's ingredients -- and of The Patterson House's cocktail list in general -- Vodka just cannot get behind the smokiness of this creation.  In contrast, we find the sliders and tater tots which we choose as panini substitutes absolutely scrumptious, and we are also huge fans of the ambience of the place, which features a giant circular bar in the middle, surrounded by cozy booths and bookcases.
If Vodka Can't Get Her Way, a Miniature Burger Does Tend to be a Worthy Replacement
Fact: Few Things in This World Are More Enjoyable Than a Tater Tot
Indeed, if we had been able to procure the Elvis Panini which we had traveled all the way to Tennessee to taste, perhaps Vodka would be better able to appreciate the barbeque-esque taste of the bacon old-fashioned.  
Too Bad This Isn't Smothered in Peanut Butter and Banana
But being that the panini, much like Elvis himself, has left the building, we see no reason not to do the same, leaving nothing but a mediocre star rating in our wake.  

Patterson House's Bacon Old Fashioned: 3 stars

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