We've
said it before and we'll say it again: if your restaurant was featured
on a nationally broadcast television program for a particular dish, DO NOT TAKE SAID DISH OFF THE MENU.
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| We're Not Hard to Please: Give Us the Dish and Ply Us with Liquor. That's All There Is To It |
Now we're looking at your, Patterson House.
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| Bottles, Bottles Everywhere and Not a Drop to Drink |
Vodka
is currently traipsing through Nashville with her friend, who has opted
to call herself Grey Goose ("On the Rocks with a Twist of Lemon"
serving as her middle name).
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| Last Name: "Actually, Make That Two" |
While in town, we naturally venture to the
two Best Thing I Ever Ate locales that Nashville has to offer.
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| Such Mission-Driven Activities Are the Price One Pays for Being Vodka's Friend |
We
begin at The Patterson House, home of Claire Robinson's favorite HOLIDAY
dish, the Elvis Panini with a Bacon Old-Fashioned. The problem with this plan? NO ELVIS PANINI is on the menu.
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| We Are Certain That Elvis Would NOT Be Pleased |
Rather
than throwing an appropriate fit (which most certainly would have
happened had Ginger been in attendance), Grey Goose seems to have a
calming effect on Vodka, who -- with only a mild whine -- orders us each
the second half of Claire's choice, Don Lee's Bacon Old-Fashioned.
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| How to Appease Vodka: Hand Her a Cocktail. Immediately. If Not Sooner |
The cocktails are made in front of us -- in the same shaker,
which will prove significant later -- and then poured over a large round ice
cube. After only one sip, Vodka is fairly sure that she has never seen
Grey Goose look more excited, while Vodka herself is puckering her
lips.
"It's very bacony," she states the obvious (being that it's called a BACON Old-Fashioned, and all).
"I
love the maple and coffee pecan bitters," Grey Goose says, which
immediately makes Vodka reach out to snatch her drink. With one taste,
Vodka declares that Grey Goose's cocktail is "better" than hers, despite
the fact that logic dictates this can't be possible.
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| One of These Things Is Not Like the Other (If You Ask Vodka, That Is) |
After
accepting her fate that Vodka is going to make her switch drinks, Grey
Goose declares, "It's delicious. I would absolutely get it again. I'd
give it a 4."
"It's getting a 3," Vodka says.
"Even that one?" Grey Goose quips, pointing at the "better" of the two options before us.
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| Touche, Grey Goose |
While
we appreciate the uniqueness of the cocktail's ingredients -- and of
The Patterson House's cocktail list in general -- Vodka just cannot get
behind the smokiness of this creation. In contrast, we find the sliders
and tater tots which we choose as panini substitutes absolutely
scrumptious, and we are also huge fans of the ambience of the place,
which features a giant circular bar in the middle, surrounded by cozy
booths and bookcases.
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| If Vodka Can't Get Her Way, a Miniature Burger Does Tend to be a Worthy Replacement |
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| Fact: Few Things in This World Are More Enjoyable Than a Tater Tot |
Indeed, if we had been able to
procure the Elvis Panini which we had traveled all the way to Tennessee
to taste, perhaps Vodka would be better able to appreciate the
barbeque-esque taste of the bacon old-fashioned.
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| Too Bad This Isn't Smothered in Peanut Butter and Banana |
But being that the panini, much like Elvis himself, has left the building, we see no reason not to do the same, leaving nothing but a mediocre star rating in our wake.
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