Off the Map: Diet French Fries Without the Diet

Pommes Souffles -- Galatoire's, New Orleans, LA

Galatoire's

If Bayona is a quiet enclave within the nonsense of the French Quarter, Galatoire's is the opposite. Galatoire's is the indoor version of the French Quarter under the guise of a classy French restaurant.

Chaos, Thy Name Is Galatoire

In fact, when we mosey through the Bourbon Street door under the sign labeled "Galatoire's," we are greeted by a cacophony of sound coming from the nearby bar. 

"Are We in the Right Place?" "WHAT?!"

Vodka and Whiskey Sour attempt to check in and are told that we have a reservation at the "original" Galatoire's, which is apparently nextdoor and requires a ride on an elevator.

"Are You Okay with Going There?" "IS IT QUIETER?!"

Once we make it through the maze of the adjoining restaurants (hindered by the fact that Vodka's two Bayona martinis were not exactly "weak"), we are seated along the wall of a room that could pass for an old-fashioned stuffy French bistro. 

Well, Not So Much "Bistro" as Just "Old-Fashioned"

We are here to eat the pommes souffles, as recommended by John Besh on the OLD SCHOOL episode of Best Thing I Ever Ate. But despite the fact that we ate a full meal just prior to this, we ask for not only TWO orders of the pommes souffles, but a bowl of gumbo (Whiskey Sour) and turtle soup (Vodka).

It's Vodka's Afternoon of Eating Politically Incorrect Dishes

We are also provided with a loaf of bread which, due to the alcohol sloshing around in our systems, we quickly mop up and eagerly agree to another... which we also eat. And then an additional one

Now You See It...

...Now You Don't

Based on some innocuous exchange with our server, Vodka quips, "I think our waitress is a weirdo."

"I'm sure she feels the same about us," Whiskey Sour retorts. "We just ate three loaves of bread."

And Not for Nothing, but the Bread Wasn't Even That Good

Overall, our respective soups are varying degrees of "fine." 

To Our Bread-Laden Palates, They Taste Remarkably Similar

They are at least more pleasing than the pommes souffles which are simply not good. We're not sure how it's possible to so epicly screw up French fries, but Galatoire's has figured it out. 

Two Plates of DISASTER

While we had initially asked for our own orders to help soak up the day's booze (as we have now moved onto rose and chardonnay), the reason we end up chowing down on a full week's worth of bread is that these pommes souffles will not get the job done.

"Hello, Postmates? Can You Deliver McDonald's French Fries to Galatoire's?"

They're essentially all potato skin without any actual potato, sopping in grease and tasting mostly of oil. They're lacking in both salt and crunch, and taste like what someone who is on a diet would order when having a craving for French fries (except, of course, for the matter that they are composed primarily of grease).

The Greasy Aftermath

As retribution for our pommes souffles displeasure, Vodka grabs a full handful of mints on our way out, which do little to counteract the unfathomable amount of garlic, oil, and alcohol coating our breath. 

Bourbon Street Peacock Strut

We thus exit the French Quarter a little worse off than how we entered, which is our surest sign yet that we are doing New Orleans right.

Galatoire's Pommes Souffle: 2 stars