Vodka has recently decided that she needs to go to Cleveland for two reasons: the proliferation of Polish food and the presence of Michael Symon.
After all, anyone who would pick pasta as his LAST SUPPER dish on Best Thing I Ever Ate is a person whose taste I trust.
|Almost Worth Dying For|
Solution: talk Vetri up to my parents until they want to go just as much as I do. Done.
|Parental Payment System|
|And Particularly After Enough Glasses of This|
Arriving at Vetri, we are handed glasses of prosecco, a crudité platter, and an appetizer sampler. In typical fashion, I don’t really remember the specifics, but trust me when I say that it is all wonderful (barring the pickled apricots, which I did not try. I have been refusing to try pickled anything but cucumbers since the Fatty Crab debacle).
|The Dip = Diplicious|
|Cinnamon Smoked Meat? What Could Be Bad?|
For our first dish, we each receive the Whole Poached Foie Gras with Fennel (one caveat: if you go to Vetri with a group that you’re not afraid to share germs with, try to specify that you would each like a different dish for each course, so that you can try as much of the prolific menu as possible). Presented as a soup, it can make just about anyone into a foie gras fan (not to mention the fact that my mom is insistent that Vetri has the most unique serving platters, so much so that I feared she was going to lick one clean and stick it in her pocketbook).
|This Bowl May or May Not Have Gone Home in My Mom's Purse|
|Onion Masquerading as a Scallop|
|Would You Like Quackers With That Duck?|
And then, the real fun begins: bring on the pasta.
In total, we sample the Spinach Gnocchi with Brown Butter, Almond Tortellini with Truffle Sauce, Duck Fazzoletti with Black Olives, and Rigatoni alla Bolognese with Chard. And HOLY LOVE OF NOODLES where do I even start? I believe a visual will tell the story better than I can:
|These Are Called Spinach Balls in Less Refined Circles|
|Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut|
|Drowning in Cheesy Love|
|Are You Dying of Jealousy Yet?|
They alone would be worth $135.
Also on our menus come Black Bass with Zucchini and Peas and Creekstone Dry Aged Ribeyes with Roasted Pepper and Celery Salad (and while both a lovely, the beef especially is ridiculously delicious).
|Make Note of the Fork Design on the Plates|
|Enough to Turn the Most Steadfast Vegetarian Into a Carnivore|
|Followed by a Brief Palate Cleanser Interlude|
|White Chocolate Is the Real Chocolate of the Gods|
|Cheery Cherry Chums|
|Hello, Sugar Lips|
|And the Goodie Bag Doesn't Hurt Either|
In truth, it seems ironic that Michael Symon would choose Vetri as his Last Supper when, in reality, the pasta delights featured within its tiny, unassuming walls provide you so much goodness for which to live.
Vetri’s Chef’s Pasta Tasting Menu: 5 stars*
*Certifiable Best Thing We Ever Ate