Daddy-O's Landscaping

Herbacious Mojito -- Daddy-O
Daddy-O

"I like cilantro, I don't like grass."

And so ends our foray into Daddy-O's cocktails.

Optical Illusion Cocktail Size

Let's backtrack: we enter Daddy-O because we need to try Anne Burrell's BEST I EVER DRANK choice, the herbacious mojito.  Truth be told, we are quite excited about this prospect, as we are certain that it will live up to a previous BEST I EVER DRANK winner, the grapefruit margarita from Barrio Chino (as chosen by Claire Robinson).

Not finding the herbacious mojito on the menu (for good reason, we later discover), Ginger, in a panic, asks the waiter if it is still available.  He assures us that it is, and stupidly, we each order one.

They arrive, each a mountain of pleasing green-colored crushed ice with a sprig of cilantro on top.  They are pretty enough for a picture, of which Vodka insists on taking at least seven before we taste.

Practically a Picasso

Word to the wise: never judge a cocktail by its beauty.

The herbacious mojito is a revelation: a revelation in the fact that we are apparently capable of not finishing an alcohol-based drink.

Not a Revelation We Were Eager to Learn

The green coloring does not lie: it tastes like a freshly-cut field of grass, like something you would find in a health food store that no one but people who like to torture themselves in the name of so-called "nutrition" would put in their bodies. The trouble is, we like herbs, lots of different kinds of herbs.  And we like many of these herbs in cocktails -- rosemary or basil can both make an interesting and delectable addition to a drink.  But sadly, here all we taste is grass.

Fields and Fields of Unending Grass

After a total of three torturous sips, Vodka shoves her mojito to Ginger to finish, and flags the waiter down to order the Freddy Fudpucker (which, while definitely no worse than the herbacious mojito, is also not that great).

I'd Like to Have a Word with Freddy

Ginger manages, with great effort, to chug down her own herbacious mojito, but she cannot summon the strength to make it through Vodka's.

Particularly Because the Straw Doesn't Reach the Bottom of the Glass

And clearly, the fact that, for once in our lives, we can't finish our cocktails shows just how dire the situation is.

And Again, Look at the Faulty Straw Manufacturing

While Ginger goes off in search of a bathroom, our waiter comes by and inquires about our half-filled glass of mojito.

"You didn't like it?" he asks Vodka.  She shakes her head in disgust.

"You must not like cilantro," he continues.

"I like cilantro, I don't like grass," Vodka retorts.  The waiter backs away, presumably to retrieve the lawnmower that he used to make our cocktails.

Daddy-O's Herbacious Mojito: 1 star