Let's be honest: We are not outer borough aficionados.
We don't really know how to get to them, and we very rarely find the need to figure it out. In fact, when trudging down the sidewalks of Astoria in search of Alex Guarnaschelli's favorite UNDER WRAPS Greek dish, Ginger can be heard muttering, "You mean to tell me that there are no better stuffed grape leaves to be found IN MANHATTAN?"
And so goes our day in Queens.
|All in the Name of a Couple of Grape Leaves|
Continuing to find it astounding that the subway actually travels outdoors when out of Manhattan proper, we look out the window like kindergarteners on the Disney World monorail once we reach the sovereign nation of Queens. And later that afternoon, as we trek ten long suburban-ish blocks from the last stop on the N-train to Agnanti, we are no less perplexed by our self-appointed itinerary for the day.
|Next Stop: Athens|
While we are here for the dolmades yialantzi, we are more concerned with procuring some alcohol, and stat. Vodka is perplexed by the fact that the menu appears to be a calendar, so Ginger picks up the slack in ordering a large carafe of white wine, which is delivered to us minutes later in a watering can. A watering can sans spout.
|Gardening with Liquor|
|Somebody Get Me a Straw to Drink Off the Table|
|Where's the Other Half of Our Serving?|
|Mild-Mannered Grape Leaves|
|Clearly, We Have No Knife Skills|
|Are Those Tomatoes Supposed to Be Bite-Size?|
|So Much Potential|
|Cue the Opening to "Mrs. Lovett's Meat Pies"|
At the end of the meal, we receive a complimentary dessert plate with two kinds of cake, yogurt, and marinated grapes. We soon realize why the plate has been sent gratis, as the cake is so dry and presumably stale that we're certain it was used to help take down the Roman Empire.
|Cake In Need of a Good Moisturizer|
Agnanti Meze's Dolmades Yialantzi: 3 stars