To
say we've been a little lax on the Best Thing I Ever Ate front lately
would be an understatement. In fact, it was not until perusing our own
blog (granted, probably the most traffic the site has gotten in ages)
that we realized that it has been nearly a year and a half since we last
put the Food Network stars to the test regarding the foods they have deemed to be the best.
Absence Makes the Heart Grow Drunker |
In our defense, the program itself stopped producing episodes years ago, so forgive us for going similarly defunct.
The Day We Run Out of Places to Eat Will Be a Tragic One for America |
However,
now, unlike the show itself, we are back and not quite
better than ever. Having plowed through nearly everything on the
Manhattan food list, we have whisked ourselves off to Los Angeles, CA, to
taste as many of the dishes in the second-most-prevalent BTIEA city as
possible.
You Can Find Our Handprints Fossilized in a Local Bar |
In our time away, Ginger has acquired a lick
of digestive issues, which have been blamed on everything to shrimp
(which she has given up) to dairy (which she sometimes gives up) to wine
(which she will never, ever give up). These bouts of uncomfortableness
have left her with a rampant paranoia about what she places in her
mouth, if (thankfully) not an actual refusal to eat anything.
With Age Does NOT Come Wisdom |
Speaking of
stupidity, among our many reasons for taking years to venture to Los
Angeles is our absolute refusal (some would say "inability") to drive.
We are thus being hauled around the city by a rotating cast of Uber and
Lyft drivers, all given with the unfortunate task of putting up with
us.
Terror in Four-Lane Highway Form |
After a brief sojourn to Disneyland, the first stop on our tour of
LA finds us at BLD, home of Aida Mollenkamp's preferred Best Thing I
Ever Ate WAKE UP CALL dish, the ricotta blueberry pancakes.
No Pressure, LA, But We're a Highly Judgmental Species |
It
is at this locale that we discover our first surprise about LA: the
people are disarmingly nice. We are greeted by a pleasant gentlemen who
is not only the host, but also appears to be the waiter, bartender,
busboy, and most likely our future Uber driver as well. We assume we are going to be
scoffed at when we ask for a single order of the desired pancakes, but
he doesn't so much as raise an eyebrow at the fact that we're not, at
the very least, even ordering a side dish.
Have We Found a Land Where Frugality Is Appreciated? |
Instead, he fetches two
smaller plates so we can properly divide the pancakes between us, along
with our coffee (Vodka) and latte (Ginger -- made with almond mild, due
to the aforementioned dairy issues).
Whoever Thought Ginger Would Turn Out to be the More High-Maintenance of the Two of Us? |
A few minutes
later, two of the largest pancakes we've ever seen appear before us,
with a small tub of butter and a vat of real Vermont maple syrup beside
them. While Ginger is instantly impressed with the fact that they're
serving "real" maple syrup alongside their pancakes, Vodka is unclear of
the difference. ("Aunt Jemima's is corn syrup." "And what's this?"
"...Maple.")
Why Vodka Would Never Survive in the Wilderness |
We stab into the sides of the cakes,
hauling slices onto our respective plates and dousing them with the
appropriately soft butter and hot syrup. Ginger tastes first, and when
Vodka asks for an assessment, she answers simply, "It's a good pancake."
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why we shall never write food reviews for the New York Times.
Also Our Inability to Effectively Cut a Pancake |
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