Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Off the Map: Four Waffles a Day Keep the Hives Away

Red Velvet Waffle -- The Waffle, Los Angeles, CA
There is nothing like leaving one waffle establishment, only to cart your leftovers down Sunset Boulevard to a second waffle place.  Indeed, if we have learned anything thus far about Los Angeles, it is that its residents do not seem to be much for a savory breakfast item, as before noon, we have already consumed pancakes, a regular waffle, and now, the red velvet waffle which Susan Feniger spoke of on the BETTER THAN MINE episode of Best Thing I Ever Ate.
So Many Waffles, So Little Time
Truth be told, we walk into The Waffle less excited about the dish we're about to consume than we are about the chalkboard sign hanging above our heads which boasts about their "double mimosas."  
Things Are Looking Up!
Vodka hightails it to the bathroom, which leaves Ginger with the (apparently) highly difficult job of ordering.  After our last mistaken waffle debacle, she is extremely paranoid about making the same mistake, so with Vodka still missing, she decides that she is going to order all of the food for herself and inform the waitress, "The other one is just going to have a double mimosa."
Of All the Sights One Can Find in Hollywood, We're Fairly Certain We're Two of the Strangest
Within minutes, we are joyful at the arrival of our mason jars of goodness, practically slopping over the edges with orange juice and not a small serving of champagne.  Our moods improve instantly, and while we wait for the arrival of our fourth meal of the day, Ginger recounts the time she spent as a child at the Ho Hum Ranch.  "I got herded into the pasture with some llamas," she states without affect, causing Vodka to decide that at times like this, even after ten years of friendships, she doesn't really know Ginger at all.
You Hand Us a Couple of Mimosas, and the Conversation Suddenly Turns to Llamas
It is in the middle of this stimulating discussion that our plate of waffles appears before us.  Two thick red waffles sit stacked at an angle against each other, with hearty helpings of cream cheese frosting oozing down their centers.  Ginger scoops a bit of frosting (her recent fear of dairy clearly forgotten) onto her fork and picks at the waffle until a corner falls off.  Within one chew, she proclaims, "Fact: This may just be the best thing I ever ate."
We're So Easy to Please Once You Get a Little Booze in Us
The waffle is quite scrumptious: crispy yet still chewy, with a good flavor and an even better topping (to be fair, we have never met a cream cheese frosting we haven't liked).  Halfway through its consumption, Ginger starts rustling in her handbag, announcing, "I'm going to take GasX," and whether this is the highest compliment or greatest criticism The Waffle has ever received is up to interpretation.  
Feel Free, The Waffle, to Steal This for Your Next Marketing Campaign: Worth the GasX
In the end, Ginger is much more taken with the red velvet waffle than Vodka is, presumably because she likes all things sweet and Vodka hardly likes anything that doesn't come with a shaker of salt.  In a compromise of taste, we're giving the waffle four stars, since Ginger would eat it again in an instant, and Vodka doesn't understand what type of "meal" it could actually be appropriate for.
The Remnants of a Waffle Slaughter
Of course, what could have helped Ginger's perception of said waffle is the second round of double mimosas which have just been placed in front of us, bringing our mood to an all-time LA high.  
Hey, We've Had to Eat Four Waffles Today. It's Only Fair That We Get Four Drinks, Too
And even though by the end of the meal, Ginger has began breaking out in hives, it doesn't dampen our tipsy energy.
New Form of Allergy Relief
"I mean, there's definitely something wrong with me," Ginger says nonchalantly as we exit the premises, box of GasX in hand and hive on her face.  But nothing, it seems, that a few double mimosas can't fix.

The Waffle's Red Velvet Waffle: 4 stars

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