Off the Map: Honey, Of Course We Have Polish Boys

Polish Boy -- Seti's Polish Boys, Cleveland, OH

Seti's Polish Boys

Many moons ago, when Vodka and Ginger were mere children (relatively) traipsing through the streets of Chicago, Ginger made an infamous call to Ann Sather to ask if they had cinnamon rolls -- a question that is essentially synonymous with calling your local McDonald's and asking if any Big Macs are available.

The Ohio Equivalent of the Quarter Pounder

Here in Cleveland, Vodka makes an equally dopey phone call to Seti's Polish Boys to inquire whether or not they are parked at their usual location on Lorain Street -- a location, it appears based on the tone of the proprietor, where they are ALWAYS parked. 

Oh, THERE You Are. Almost Lost You for a Second

When Vodka and Mezcal appear at their window minutes later, the small smirks on the workers' faces disclose that they have attributed us to the dolts who made the phone call. 

Feel Free to Judge Us, Seti's. We Would

Forging ahead, Vodka orders one Polish Boy sandwich, as chosen by Michael Symon and the BETWEEN BREAD episode of Best Thing I Ever Ate.

This Looks Like Our Kind of Place

Just In Case We Feared We Were at the Wrong Truck

When it is handed over, it is scalding hot, emitting a heat so ferocious that it is more reminiscent of a sandwich from the depths of a volcano than from the mild-mannered cooking surfaces of a food truck. 

Does Anyone Have a Fan?

Inside its tightly wrapped foil package, we find an obscenely large sausage sandwich, stacked to capacity with slaw, French fries, and barbecue sauce. Once we allow it to cool down enough to not burn the roofs of our mouths (this takes roughly twenty minutes), we find the sandwich to be almost disturbingly delicious. 

Who Needs a Pesky Thing Like a Side Dish Anyway?

While in theory, smothering our kielbasi with fries and BBQ sauce would not be our idea of a good time, the output is more than we could have hoped for, with each of the sandwich's elements perfectly complementing the others. The sausage has an ideal snap, the slaw a crispness, the French fries salt, and the sauce sweet, all while the roll molds perfectly around the conglomeration. 

There's Slaw Under There, We Promise

Indeed, while the sandwich is still quite messy, it's not nearly as bad as it could be, especially considering we're eating it on a random bench and it's roughly the temperature of Mount Saint Helen's, meaning we keep dropping it.

Sometimes Directly Onto Vodka's Boots

By the time we polish the whole thing off, Mezcal has deemed it even better than the biscuits and gravy from Lucky's Cafe, if only because it seems much more of a Cleveland-type dish than a Southern-like creation. 

SOS Napkins! SOS

As we walk away, the food truckers lean out their window to ask how we enjoyed our first Polish Boy experience, which we answer with various amounts of positive affirmations. 

Also Ten Points for a Menu Featuring Pictures

After all, anytime you can get Vodka to enjoy something that leads to sticky fingers, stained jeans, and a splotch of BBQ sauce on her boot, you know you have a winner, one which she would gladly eat again.

"Now Where Are You Parked?"

And truth be told, she would still call first.

Seti's Polish Boys's Polish Boy: 4 stars