Off the Map: No Pierogi Left Behind

Piergies -- Sokolowski's University Inn, Cleveland, OH

Sokolowski's University Inn

The thing is, it's not like Vodka doesn't know her way around a pierogi. 

Need This

With 50% of her genes hailing from Poland, she's had enough of the dumplings to last some people a lifetime, and she is therefore skeptical of any pierogies that people claim to be the "best."

You've Got A Lot to Live Up To

But Sokolowski's University Inn's pierogies? They may just be the best.

Heaven on a Butter-Drenched Plate

Cleveland's prodigal son, Michael Symon, chose Sokolowski's brand of dough-enclosed potato on the REGIONAL FAVORITES episode of Best Thing I Ever Ate, and the line encircling the restaurant's bar area when we arrive at 11:30am on a Friday proves just how seriously Clevelanders take their Polish cuisine. 

Sampling of the Must-Have Merchandise Available for Purchase

With a smattering of kielbasi-based product for sale as you approach the cafeteria-style kitchen area, we note that, for reasons that remain unknown, an order of 6 pierogies cost $9.50... while 12 cost $9.95. 

Look, Math Was Never Our Strong Suit Either, But...

Letting our pocketbooks win out over our stomach capacity, we go for the full dozen, which are doled out in a swimming pool's worth of butter and coated with finely diced cooked onions. 

The Reason Behind Ohio's Butter Shortage

Tiny cups of sour cream, not remotely on par with the size of the pierogies themselves, can be picked up at the cash register, where we also opt for a "large glass of Ohio apple cider" (which is roughly the size of our heads -- as Mezcal quips, "they make things big here"). 

Everything Except Sour Cream Containers, That Is

We carry our tray over to a communal table sitting beside an (unlit) fireplace, and dive in expectantly.

Taking in the Sights

We Love Any Place Where One Is Not Encouraged to Discard of Her Own Trash

And, like everything in Cleveland thus far, the pierogies are everything Michael Symon had promised. 

Cleveland Is a Magical Land, Indeed

Perfectly cooked potatoes are enshrined by the most idyllic dough you could ever ask for, and despite our initial fears about the stinginess of the sour cream portion, we find that, despite our usual love of the condiment, the pierogies stand on their own.

Further Evidence of This? We Didn't Even Hit Up the Bar!

At this point, an undying obsession with Cleveland is beginning to take hold. Because after all, any town that values piergies even half as much as Vodka does is most certainly worth its weight in butter alone.

Thanks for the Tip, Friend

Sokolowski's University Inn's Piergies: 5 stars*

*Certifiable Best Thing We Ever Ate