To give some idea as to the extent of the planning behind our foray to Chicago, Vodka had pulled together a ten-page, color-coded itinerary. An itinerary so thorough and detailed and well-paced and exceptionally OCD that it would impress the Queen of England's Ladies in Waiting.
And then Avec came along and ruined the whole thing.
|Ways to Make Vodka Hate You: Screw Up Her Scheduling|
Avec, unfortunately, had other plans for us, as they had decided to CLOSE for a private event. Close ALL NIGHT. Leaving us stranded in the West Loop with no recourse and completely thrown off our itinerary.
We'll remember this, Avec.
|This Is Grounds For an Automatic One-Star Demotion|
|Here's an Idea, Chicago: Meet with Your Staff BEFORE YOU OPEN|
|For Goodness Sake, Stop Withholding the Cocktails!|
You see what you're doing to us, West Loop? You're giving us hallucinations.
|Note to Self: Never Trust a Neighborhood Known for Its Pork Rinds|
|Quick, Someone Teach Us How to Turn This Water into Wine|
This offer will later prove to be the greatest mistake said waitress has ever made.
|Note to Waitresses Everywhere: We Will Come Back and We Will Haunt You|
|Well, This is "Scenic"|
|We Don't Suppose We Could Trouble You for Some Dipping Sauces...?|
|And With That, Ginger Graduates from "How to Ruin Everyone's Appetite 101"|
|Michael Symon, What Were You Thinking?! We TRUSTED You|
|Oh, And Also Be a Doll and Go Grab Us Some Stuffed Dates from Avec|
|And This Little Piggy Went "Gross Yuck Blergh" All The Way Home|
|The Best We Can Say? At Least It's Not Pig Skin|
|The Publican Might Want to Start Springing for Larger Plates|
The Publican's Spicy Pork Rinds: 2 stars