Off the Map: WE NEED SOME SILVERWARE

Pizza Pot Pie -- Chicago Pizza and Oven Grinder Kitchen, Chicago, IL
Chicago Pizza and Oven Grinder Kitchen

"Why don't we have husbands?"

"Perhaps because we just ate five dinners."

We stumble upon this wise insight concerning our upcoming old maidom while stationed at Chicago Pizza and Oven Grinder Kitchen's bar.  We are here chugging their generous glasses of tap water as we wait for our pizza pot pie to be ready.  Against all odds, we have survived our near-death experience at Wiener's Circle, and we have the foresight, at least, to get this pot pie to-go.

For Once in Our Lives, We Have Come to Our Senses

We have also decided to jump into a taxi immediately upon leaving.  No more of this pesky public transportation business.

At This Point, A Wheelchair Or Two Would Also Be Useful

We have ordered the half-pound (as opposed to the full pound -- moderation is our new friend) pot pie with meat sauce, as recommended by Marc Murphy on the ROAD TRIP episode of Best Thing I Ever Ate.

And In the Time It Takes for Them to Make It, We Completely Empty The Place's Water Supply

When our to-go bag arrives, we bound out of Chicago Pizza Kitchen (which is quaint if excessively hot inside, hence our dehydration) and hop into the first taxi available.  Said taxi is so eager to pick us up that the driver reverses down North Clark Street in order to fetch us -- thanks for the service, Chicago.  You seem to know that this is a desperate situation.

Perhaps You'd Like to Eat This Pot Pie and Rate It For Us?

When we arrive at our hotel, we are suddenly revived and, true to form, ready to eat.  The problem?  We did not specify to Chicago Pizza Kitchen that forks would be a useful accessory to this pot pie.  Refusing to be shut down from consuming this thing immediately, Vodka hops over to the concierge and says, with no explanation nor social graces, "WE NEED SOME SILVERWARE."

Throw Your Napkin Round Your Neck, Cherie, And We'll Provide the Rest

Said concierge is either very willing to please or very afraid of us, because he runs off in the direction of the hotel bar and is back with forks, knives, and cloth napkins within seconds.  The greatest humor of this situation is that at no time were we asked whether or not we were guests of the hotel.  Therefore, if you ever find yourself in need of new utensils, merely frolic up to a concierge desk and demand some flatware -- your kitchen will soon be fully stocked.

Too Bad We Can't Produce the Same Effect with "WE NEED SOME HUSBANDS"

When we return to our room, we lay down a "tablecloth" to protect Ginger's bedding, open up the container, and peer inside.

Breakfast -- Ergh, Fifth Dinner -- In Bed

The pot pie looks essentially like an undercooked pizza: a round ring of thick white dough surrounds a mass of cheese, all covering the hearty meat sauce.

So Many Knives, So Little Pizza

Using our prized silverware to dig in, we nod in appreciation.  Unlike the pizzette at Socca, this pot pie is overflowing with two things: cheese and salt.  It is so salty, in fact, that Ginger is on the verge of complaining about it, but Vodka is too in her glory about the sodium levels for Ginger to get very far.

It's Amazing How Many Eating-Based "Second Winds" We Can Get in a Day

The perimeter of dough is soft and barely cooked -- a consistency we enjoy more than the cracker crust of Socca's "flatbread."  The meat sauce is tasty enough ("There is one flavor -- salt" is Ginger's opinion), and the cheese is, well, it's hard for us to find a cheese we do not adore.

A Portrait of Midnight Snacking

And when we finally hunker down for our first Chicago sleep, we fall into a deep slumber full of stolen silverware dreams.

Chicago Pizza and Oven Grinder Kitchen's Pizza Pot Pie: 4 stars