It
appears our recent foray around Los Angeles has inspired us to continue banging through the last few restaurants on our Best Thing I Ever Ate
Manhattan list, as mere weeks after returning, we can be found
traipsing through the streets of the East Village in search of our next
meal.
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| We Had Almost Forgotten What It Was Like to Eat With a Camera and Vodka Frantically Scribbling Notes |
Our initial plan had been to meet at Tree Bistro, but being that
the place doesn't open until 5:00 PM -- a full fifteen minutes away --
and that we have a patience of a couple of fleas with ADD, we decide to
flip our itinerary and head to Chikalicious Dessert Bar first. This
means that we are going to consume a bevy of desserts before our actual
dinner, which, all in all, does not seem like the worst plan we have
ever come up with.
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| Particularly Because the Word "Bar" Is in the Restaurant's Name |
We're not quite sure what has taken us
so long to make our way to Chikalicious, other than the fact that we never really
understood the concept of the place. Within seconds of sitting down on
its bar stools, it becomes obvious that we still don't, as we are
incapable -- separately but equally -- of figuring out the menu.
 |
| Here's Our Order: Wine and Cheesecake. Snap to It |
While
we are here to taste Johnny Iuzzini's Best Thing I Ever Ate BETTER THAN MINE dish, the fromage blanc island cheesecake, we also -- naturally --
would like to order some cocktails. But, in a comprehension challenge
that takes Vodka way too long to figure out, at Chikalicious, the only
way to order the cheesecake is through the prix fixe menu, which
includes an amuse and a plate of petit fours.
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| Why Is All of This Menu Reading Standing Between Us and Our Booze? |
While Vodka struggles
with this concept, Ginger is currently in a full-on internal debate
about the optional wine pairing that could come with the cheesecake, and
it is not until one of the staff members walks us through the menu like
we're illiterate kindergarteners that we finally seem to get the hang
of it.
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| At This Point, We Wouldn't Be Surprised If We Inexplicably Ended Up Ordering a Pastrami Sandwich |
We choose one prix fixe item, for which
Ginger picks the wine pairing, and Vodka selects a glass of
"Zinsanity" red wine, merely because it is just about the only one on
the whole alcohol menu that does not seem to be sweet.
 |
| The Lucy and Ethel of the Wine World |
At Chikalicious,
all of the desserts are prepared directly in front of you, as if
they're craft cocktails at a hipster bar. This may be a great concept
for some people, but for us, it is distracting at best and awkward at
worst.
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| Are We Supposed to Talk to Each Other or Watch You? It's All So Confusing |
The beauty of Chikalicious's creations cannot be denied, but
frankly, we don't really care to see our sugar blended -- just bring us
something to eat, and we'll eat it, no questions asked.
 |
| Please Note Our Proximity to the All-Important Blender |
We
are given our miniature amuse dish, but what we are NOT given is a
single clue as to what it consists of ("Tea? It tastes like tea. Do
you think it's tea?" = repeat this ten times, and this is us trying to
figure out what we're eating).
 |
| Apparently, If You Want an Explanation at Chikalicious, You Have to Read the Menu |
It is strictly "fine," as are our
respective glasses of wine, but they are also not the reason we are
here. That honor belongs to the cheesecake, and when it is placed
before us, even we can't deny that it looks exactly like something we
would love.
 |
| Aka It Looks Like Melted Ice Cream -- Our Ideal Dessert Texture |
Atop a pile of shaved ice, a rounded mound
of... well, we have no idea what it is, really, but it is definitely not
a cheesecake we're used to.
 |
| What Is This Majesty? |
"I
literally would eat this for every meal," Ginger says after barely
having swallowed her first spoonful.
 |
| To Be Fair, It Was a Fairly Spoonful |
Light and astoundingly fluffy,
this cheesecake is more like a molded pudding than an actual cake, and
it is topped by a solid pour of heavy cream. Despite Chikalicious's
open dessert bar atmosphere, we are still completely flummoxed as to how
it was created, and the staff does not appear overly eager to
reveal, well, much of anything.
 |
| All We Know Is A Lot Seemed to Happen In That Blender |
What we are certain of is that this cheesecake
-- or "cheesecake," as the case may be -- just may be the best one we
have ever had, both due to its creamy texture and its only lightly sweetened
flavor.
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| Could We Have Another to Go In Case Our Dinner Doesn't Work Out? |
We have
barely recovered from our love of the cheesecake when a tiny
plate of three petit fours is placed before us.
 |
| They're Not Kidding About the "Petite" Bit |
While Chika herself
does deign to tell us what each of them are, we're still too busy
thinking about the previous dessert (and to be fair, getting loaded from
our glasses of wine) to listen.
 |
| The Infamous Chika, Partially Blocked by Vodka's Empty Wine Glass |
We believe they consist of some sort
of chai tea creation, and coconut marshmallow, and something that, when
Ginger attempted to take her "half bite" of it, she ended up placing
ninety-percent of it in her mouth. ("Here's your half," she says to
Vodka).
 |
| Now You See It, Now You Don't |
Vodka notes that the plate the petit fours have arrived on
looks like something one could find in Epcot -- our highest form of
praise -- which we nevertheless can only hope that the Chikalicious
staff did not overhear, as we feel like we might just be the two biggest
dopes to ever grace their premises.
 |
| Moral of Our Story: We Never Know What We're Eating and We Never Really Care |
Having now effectively pre-gamed our dinner with sweet wine
and cheesecake, we stumble out of the premises and onto our next meal,
armed with the thought that always eating dessert first just may be a
concept we could get behind.
Particularly, if said dessert is served at a bar.
Chikalicious Dessert Bar's Fromage Blanc Island Cheesecake: 5 stars*
*Certifiable Best Thing We Ever Ate
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