What, like you've never gone all the way to Kentucky to eat a cake?
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| Well, Excuse Us for Being Devoted to a Useless Mission |
Vodka
has set off on, admittedly, one of her most random Best Thing I Ever
Ate trips ever, though this time, the location in question is not
exactly her choice. You see, one of her college roommates is on a quest
to visit all fifty states, and she has never been to Kentucky (in a
twist of fate, Vodka has actually set foot in Kentucky's borders before,
though when she was a toddler, and hence before the first episode of
Best Thing I Ever Ate).
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| In Other Words, Before She Had a Reason to Go Anywhere |
Said college roommate, who
goes by the moniker "Diet Coke" due to her propensity for teetotaling
(the horror), has recently (more or less) sworn off the carbonated chemical as well as
most alcohol, and even the promise of a Louisville mint julep isn't
enough to turn her over to our day-drinking dark side.
 |
| One of These Things Is Not Like the Other.... |
However, luckily for
Cake Flour, the site of our only Kentucky Best Thing I Ever Ate dish,
Diet Coke has a much bigger sweet tooth than Vodka (who primarily has
what's called a "wine tooth"), and she would therefore be more agreeable
to eating Aaron Sanchez's favorite CAKE WALK dessert, the flourless chocolate
cake, at 9:00 in the morning.
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| If These Were Filled with Some Kentucky Bourbon, Vodka May Be More Interested |
Cake Flour itself lies
fifteen minutes outside of downtown Louisville, making it especially
useful that Diet Coke, unlike Vodka or Ginger, knows how to drive.
 |
| Without Us, Uber's Ridership Is Presumably Down 50% a Day |
When
we arrive at its strip mall premises, Vodka orders one miniature
version of the chocolate delicacy, to which she is immediately asked if
we would like glasses of water to go along with it.
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| Of Note, Have Never Seen Reserved Seating at a Bakery Before |
We perhaps should have
taken this as a clue concerning what we were getting into, as the first
bites of the cake reveal it to be just about the richest one we have
ever tasted.
 |
| Count Chocula Has Nothing on This Thing |
The chocolate cake part itself is covered
by a thick layer of chocolate fudge and decorated with a delicate swirl
of white frosting (a la a Hostess cupcake, which this whole thing seems
to be an upscale takeoff on).
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| Also at Over $6.00, It Is at Least Six-Times the Price of a Hostess Treat |
However, what this cake needs is a solid
dose of white icing in the middle, since if nothing else, it would help to
mute the overwhelming taste of dark chocolate bitterness.
 |
| Where's the Cream Filling? |
While there
is nothing inherently wrong with this cake, and it would presumably
please a true chocolate lover, for us, it is just A LOT.
 |
| Packing a Chocolate Wallop |
Even with its
miniature size, we are pretty much satisfied after a single bite, and
Diet Coke recommends, "I feel like you should get this only to share with ten of your favorite friends."
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| The Remaining Remnants |
We pack up
what's left of our cake, more out of politeness than because we
actually want it, as Diet Coke quips about preferring an actual plain
chocolate cake to this creation, "I think I must like flour."
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| Gluten Is Our Friend |
To be
fair to Kentucky, we consumed many other foods within its borders which
were preferable to its one Best Thing I Ever Ate dish. But
unfortunately for them, no Food Network star chose to highlight those dishes on a
program which the channel doesn't even produce anymore, and so they
will go unmentioned.
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| Here's a Tip, Aaron Sanchez: Next Time, Try Louisville's Doughnuts |
Which leaves one to assume that in every old
Kentucky home, filled with bourbon and mint juleps and more than a few
hot browns, the one thing that is desperately missing is a large helping
of flour.
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